[api]

I said this a while back in another thread, but it's actually more on-topic here:

One of the worst things about tech culture is that it's full of socially awkward people who have learned a neat low-effort hack for getting around their poor social skills: be an asshole.

Being an asshole is easy. It requires no actual effort spent in learning the intricacies of human social interaction or human nature. It requires no effort spent getting "outside your own head," trying to connect with other people, investing in forming genuine bonds or understanding the motivation of others. All you have to do is learn to at least feign confidence, to be superficially charming, and to throw your weight around.

The tricks of the asshole trade are status symbols, name dropping, rank-pulling, appeals to credentials (I went to Stanford so I am better than you), fast talking, claiming you have "no time" for anyone who doesn't kowtow to your superior assholery, etc.

Like many low-effort hacks it "works" in the sense that it creates a superficial sense of social proficiency and permits the user to navigate meatspace. Sometimes you can even get things done. But it's a cheap trick and it doesn't scale forward either in size, scope, or time.

[RogerL]

This has nothing to do with tech, IMO. Wander over to Wall Street, go into some white collar office with a bunch of people doing data entry, go to some fulfillment center warehouse, and then go to a construction site and you'll see the same behavior.

Managing people is not trivial. So, to bring tech into it, it really boggles my mind when I see these awful styles. I mean, we spend years developing our skills, and break our arms patting ourselves on our back on how skilled we are. Then, for whatever reason, we end up on the people side and suddenly making it up as you go is fine. We have books on managing people - they are not a panacea, but I'm shocked at how few people in these positions have heard of them, let alone read them.

For example, the Microsoft Press books form the 90s are great. Debugging the Development Process, Software Project Survival Guide, Writing Solid Code, Rapid Development, and then books like The Mythical Man-Month, and Peopleware. Just a passing familiarity is all I ask. But no. Favored people and 'can't be hit by a bus' people get away with anything, great people with a few rough edges get fired at whim, no guiding principles on what it takes to execute a project (get shit done doesn't count, sorry), no concept of personal development. Ugh.

[dmajoraddnine]

What I find particularly interesting about this is that, as technology creeps further and further into the mainstream, we're going to need more people writing/maintaining software. And they're likely going to be from the fatter part of the bell curve w/r/t skill (or else wouldn't they have become interested in software anyway?). So will it get easier or harder to manage coders when the average ability level moves toward the mean?

[pnathan]

This is a good statement. Management is actually hard, and questions of leadership and management have been seriously thought about for centuries, because it is a hard problem that manifests itself in places where good results are expected.

[gregd]

I would argue quite the opposite is true, that being an asshole requires the same amount of work as being nice. Poor social skills are just that, poor social skills. Being an asshole is simply learned behaviour, it doesn't have anything to do with how easy it is..

[taeric]

I think the catch is that empathy is a large part of good social skills. And is something a lot of "socially awkward" folks are lacking. When you have a massive inability to understand the person on the other end of the conversation, it is not surprising when you learn to ignore them. That is, be an asshole.

[djKianoosh]

Definitely! empathy is such an underrated skill for consultants (use the term broadly, anyone who provides a service to another). If you can't understand, via basic communication, the other person, how can you hope to serve them?

[api]

I disagree. An asshole doesn't have to grasp social nuance. Instead they can just run it over with a truck, problem solved.