[trumbitta2]

I wish I could take this amazing advice for granted. I'm in my late thirties (36) and still can't afford having a baby. As you may guess, one cannot wait till his sixties for that...

So, it really depends on what's the meaning of "successful" to you :)

[dhbradshaw]

I supported a growing family while beginning my M.S. and the PhD. My wife chose to focus on the children rather than work, and we lived off my stipends. It worked out great. When I completed my doctorate, we had 6 thriving children. We had also learned how to be resourceful and create a great life without a ton of money. We saved up a solid down payment for a permanent home in the meantime.

Now I'm making a solid living, we're finishing paying off our permanent home, and we're expecting our 8th child. (By the way, I'm also 36. We didn't wait exactly because we knew that our time to build a family was limited while our time to make money was less so.)

[bippi]

I know it is trite to say, "No one can afford having a kid." but it's really the truth.

For me, sure daycare, toys, and food aren't putting me in the poorhouse, but there is no way I can bankroll everything I think my kids deserve.

[mixmastamyk]

Disagree for two reasons. One, kids deserve little but a loving home and a few educational toys. Giving them everything they want is recipe for building a little monster.

Two, for beter or worse, govts subsidize families to the detriment of the single. When the wife and kid arrive, you'll get a ~$500 a month tax break, enough to pay for another bedroom and diapers. The total cost is much less than I'd imagined, especially if you avoid buying all the junk thats expected.

[bippi]

I get where you're coming from, but I'm thinking like, college, multi-lingual private schools, a dad that takes time off of work for the sake of time off of work.

Toys are nice too, but we're totally covered. This kid won't know boredom until he's 60.

[mcv]

I really wish I could simply buy an extra bedroom for $500 per month. But I'm afraid I'm really going to have to move.

[trumbitta2]

That's if you live in the US :)

[vasilipupkin]

There is no reason you should bankroll everything your kids deserve. It's ok not to have some things. So many enjoyable things are either free or very cheap, that this doesn't matter

[trumbitta2]

My problem is my house is 50mq with just one bedroom, and I can't still afford moving to a larger one. Where larger means 2 bedrooms.

Context: in Italy you are supposed to own a house vs renting one. Everything in the society and regulations is organized towards owning it vs renting.

[quaffapint]

We lived in a small apartment when we had our first. It was simply a choice we made, we wanted to be somewhat younger when our kids grew up. Now we have a house, and I think not starting right off with everything made me appreciate things more.

There's others that do it the other way too. It just depends upon your's and your other half's choice.

[Kurtz79]

Context: In Italy you have free education, healthcare and higher education is dirt cheap (and not necessarily bad) compared to other countries. It's by all accounts a first world country in terms of civil rights and development (regardless of what some italians, and non italians, think).

There are way worse countries to raise a child in (economically speaking). I was raised there with a brother and a sister just with my father's (lower middle class) salary, and I had a fantastic childhood.

[trumbitta2]

Yes. But. The "owning a house" + "can't afford buying a new one when I want / need it" thing is the real point in my case :)