[submarine]

I phrased everything wrong. I don't want to "hack" anything important in life. On the contrary, I want to set things properly in my life. I want sustainable growth. So pardon me for using the term. It wasn't fitting.

I've met people who've backwards rationalized not having success with women, and the way you can tell that I'm low on self-confidence, I can tell they're full of shit. But I don't think you are, I think you have a point, as do most people posting comments here.Also, because I have seen this "figure" of what a life without this burning desire for sexual validation is like, and it seems legitimately healthy. I've heard of the "cherry on top" expression, and it seems so ideal for love and sex to be the extra bonus that we all welcome and cherish. Unfortunately, I see myself going full-circle with this philosophy and winding up anxious and unhappy. How do I NOT place importance on sex and love? It's essentially what I think of when I wake up, everytime I see a beautiful woman, and at night as I fall asleep. I'm not a romantic, but the idea of it all is just so awesome.

edit: i think i'm getting it.

[lutusp]

> How do I NOT place importance on sex and love?

Yep, I see where you're coming from. And if it weren't for that outlook, chances are the entire human race would die out in a matter of centuries, because people would say, "Jesus, what's the point of this? Who actually enjoys all this forehead-beating?" But hardly anyone does that. They get bred out of the population. By natural selection.

[submarine]

I'm not sure what this all boils down to. What does this mean for how I interact in public?

If I still decide to talk to the beautiful women I encounter, that means I'm placing importance on sex, right? Because otherwise, I'd be staring at my work and not really giving a hoot. Or are we saying there's a fine line between pursuing women and obsessing over the idea of love and sex as a determinant factor of one's self-esteem?