I think part of the complaint is not that people have different goals and motivations for doing things; it's that they often engage in behaviour that is actively counter-productive to achieving their stated aims.
I agree with you, many peoples acts are not in harmony with their values but I am not sure society can solve this in an effective way, without imposing limits. If your acts are not crossing the boundaries of another's rights then in my opinion as long as you have options to make a change then this battle is for everyone to win by themselves.