[dragonwriter]

> I have to admit ... I'm not a native speaker of English, but asking a question and "telling you how to feel" are two different things.

They are in general, but they aren't in the specific case where the premise on which the question is based is a claim about the feelings of the person to whom the question is addressed, e.g., "Why are you so angry?", which is equivalent to "You are so angry. Why is that?"