[untog]

I don't like judging people based on their age. It seems like a really blunt instrument that unfairly groups people together who do not belong there. But as someone who is only just pushing 30, I can say that you are talking the same kind of nonsense I did in my early 20s.

"To all of the people who say that the best thing to do is get a good job, buy a nice house, and to put the max into a 401k that the company will match: Fuck you. It’s not what I want. Mediocrity is worse than failure."

Mediocrity is not worse than failure. Try being homeless. Except when you say 'failure' you mean "maybe I'll have to move back in with my parents". You have an enormous safety net allowing you to be so disdainful of "mediocrity", don't take it for granted.

Stop romanticising driving yourself into the ground. Stop thinking you are better than your peers that have "sold out" by taking (gasp) jobs. It sounds like you've lived life very much on your own terms until now, but life doesn't work that way indefinitely. At some point you have to make compromises in order to achieve what you want. Deal with it.

Take a job as a developer. You'll make good money. Make sure it isn't for a demanding startup. Something that guarantees exiting the office at 5pm every day. Then go home and work on your startup. Plough your free time into your startup, and when you have enough of a ramp you can quit your day job and transition to the startup full time.

You are not a unique butterfly that is owed the opportunity to only ever do exactly what you want.

[oblique63]

I'm 24 and I agree with you 100%.

Entrepreneurship isn't a lifestyle I suggest to anyone, however, it is a great tool/means to fulfil something you want. Approaching it from the view of avoiding mediocrity is not only gonna put you in the difficult 'lifestyle' column, but it will also not be a very useful perspective for your entrepreneurial goals either. If you're really committed to living the entrepreneurial lifestyle, the best way to view it is as a journey to greatness: aspire to be with the best, not to avoid the 'average'. The former gives you hope and encouragement, while the latter is insulting to the those around you. If you're using entrepreneurship as a means to an end (like I am), it'll still be hard, but once you have that perspective it becomes easier to lay out a path for yourself regardless of the circumstances.

I've been snuffed out of jobs by friends I helped hire, I've had relationships fall apart to the point of becoming suicidal, I have no medical insurance and have endured multiple visits to the ER, I've had my apartment robbed and then got promptly kicked out because new roommates decided to get overly rowdy while I was gone, I've been shot at in broad daylight, I've unintentionally contracted with shady characters that fled the country and left me empty handed with silly lawsuits and court dates that I had to go out of my way to forfeit, I've been identity thefted losing all my money just as rent was due along with some of those ER bills, I haven't had more than 4 figures in my bank account for about half a year, my credit cards are maxed, I've had most of my belongings locked up in a storage unit for over 2 years because of these fiascos, and I'm now back to living with my parents because I couldn't afford to continue living on my own after quitting a job at a startup that required an overly-long commute that took a toll on my health to the point where I developed muscle spasms and began getting panic-attacks in the middle of the workday.

But you know what? It's all good. All that stuff might have been hell and made me nearly hysterical at points, but I know what my end goal is, and I know entrepreneurship is the only way I'll ever achieve it. If shit gets in my way, oh well, I'll just come up with a new plan to adjust for it (and I already have). I don't care about 'mediocrity', I just care that I achieve what I set out to do, because that's what makes me happy, and the only way I'll ever fail is if I give up pursuing it.

[prawks]

To back up your point, in what world is having a good job, nice house, and large retirement savings "mediocre"?

[untog]

Quite. The startup world can be very dangerous that way- when your definition of success is "being Mark Zuckerberg" then being anything less than a millionaire is "mediocre".

Your startup is statistically all but guaranteed to fail. Your life will be "mediocre" yet it will continue to be the kind of life that millions of people aspire to and are unable to reach. When looked at objectively, your life will be "pretty damn nice", no matter how much inner turmoil you feel about it.

[mathattack]

When you come from the country club life (first paragraph) it is indeed mediocre.

I'll toss in the counterpoint that having kids that are thrilled to see you, even if you live in a tiny apartment, is anything but mediocre.

The OP seems to have a lot of priorities out of whack.

[mindcrime]

To back up your point, in what world is having a good job, nice house, and large retirement savings "mediocre"? reply

When you come from the country club life (first paragraph) it is indeed mediocre.

I would consider that mediocre as well, and I grew up about as far from "country club" life as you can get. As in, dirt-poor, below-the-poverty-line, white-trash from rural southeastern NC.

Of course, some of that is that we constantly raise the bar for ourselves (well, I do anyway). Maybe the scenario above would have sounded like heaven to me when I was 20, but it doesn't now. Just the "job" part gives me the creeps. I, for one, don't want a traditional "job" at all. My standard of the line between mediocre life and successful life involves a big element of being able to control my own fate to a greater degree, and some ability to call my own shots. Translated, that means running a company I own, not working for somebody else.

The OP seems to have a lot of priorities out of whack.

Meh. Who are we to judge? A person's priorities are their priorities... there is no "right" or "wrong" on this.

[mathattack]

I would argue that having your own company just shifts the control from your boss to your customers. The one difference is you now have more control over resources.

[AnIrishDuck]

My dad, the sole attorney in his private practice firm, put it this way: "When you work a job, you have one boss. When you own a company, you have hundreds."

[mindcrime]

I would argue that having your own company just shifts the control from your boss to your customers.

Absolutely. But, personally, I would find that preferable. There's a big difference from having to be accountable and responsive to "the market" in the aggregate (and especially when you consider that you can "fire" a bad customer) and having a "boss" - one individual who has you under his/her thumb and can unilaterally order you around.

[davidjgraph]

> The OP seems to have a lot of priorities out of whack.

Hands up everyone who had their priorities in life sorted by the of 23? (Mine is down).

[mathattack]

Point taken. :-) Mine is down too.

[sailfast]

Agreed. As a new father, having the chance to go home at a reasonable hour and have your kids smile at you can be a significant benefit that one would gladly take over increased compensation or options.

[mindcrime]

This is probably the biggest question mark I have about my own choices. I've chosen to live my life focused on achieving my vision of a "not mediocre" life, and I've sacrificed a lot of things along the way: settling down, getting married, having kids, etc.

So when I go home and visit my friends, and watch them playing with their kids and kissing their wives, etc., there's always a pang of regret that says "you could have gone this route instead". But, of course, as they say "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence", blah, blah.

But I never wanted to start a family until I was in a position to give them the kind of life that I would want them to have.

Anyway, getting married and doing all that is potentially still in the cards. Time will tell, I suppose.

[mathattack]

Never too old, and best to wait until you're ready. Just like not everyone is ready to do a start-up today, not everyone is ready for kids today. Better to be mentally and financially prepared. But if you do an even halfway decent job as a parent, your kids won't care how rich their parents are.

[freyr]

> It sounds like you've lived life very much on your own terms until now,

It sounds like he's getting his very first dose of reality, and it's putting him into a state of shock.

[BWStearns]

>> Take a job as a developer. You'll make good money. Make sure it isn't for a demanding startup. Something that guarantees exiting the office at 5pm every day

I have not worked in a developer shop yet, so this may not translate over, but in any of my other jobs (which were stable and not for startups) the idea of leaving the office at 5pm was ridiculous most of the time. Even if I did manage it, nothing stopped a 8pm email from giving me 2 more hours of work. Same with going on vacation, especially if you're the only one in a company who has a certain skill.

The 9-5 itself is dead and competition mandates working hard. Not startup hard, but not 1960's stereotype clock punching easy. When you look at it that way, why not put a year or four into playing a lottery that you can actually influence the outcome of?

>> You are not a unique butterfly that is owed the opportunity to only ever do exactly what you want.

Plenty agreed, and while I legitimately appreciate the snark/slight Fight Club reference, where did he say he is owed the opportunity? I believe he stated that whether given or earned he has the opportunity. There was no normative judgement on how he came about it other than guilt for it not being more austere.

Edit: grammar.

[vinceguidry]

A software development job should require 40 hours and no more a week. If it doesn't, then you're either being mismanaged, don't know how to protect your time, or overcompensating for lack of experience. The answer to the first is to find another job. The answer to the second is to learn how to say 'no' diplomatically, and the third is to focus harder on craft and less on production.

Working more than 40 hours as a developer is not doing you or the company any favors, it's perpetuating a myth that overwork is virtuous. It will not make you more productive or make your company any more money. At the end of it all, you'll just be tired.

[BWStearns]

a) Why is 40 hours the magic number and not more or less?

b) Isn't the 40 hour work week pretty much a relic of industrial development? What about 40 means "virtuous"?

[vinceguidry]

Nothing magic about the number. You could probably do the job in much fewer hours if you're very focused. But I find it hard to maintain that level of focus for a significant period of time.

But you definitely don't need more.