[gamegoblin]

I had a pretty troubled childhood, and I surrounded myself in an armor of logic. I acted a bit like Spock, I guess. I tried to reject emotion and act only on logic. This did lead me to develop early mathematical and programming skills, but hindered a healthy worldview. I was firmly convinced that the universe was based in logic and that the meaning and reason of everything could be derived by logical thinking.

When I got older and moved away from home, I began to better understand "The Absurd" that Camus talks about. I had been struggling with the idea that I sought a logical reason for absolutely everything, but was unable to find one in many cases.

The acceptance of "The Absurd" allowed me to deal with the fact that meaning is often obscured or unattainable. I find it much easier to accept the world as it is without burdening myself with attempting (futilely) to logically explain everything. Things just are.

That being said, I don't reject logic at all; a question I was struggling with was "logically, why should I value logic?" Camus helped explain to me the absurdity of this question, and existence, and to accept that it would remain unanswered.

Camus also helped me to find joy in struggle. He says "The struggle to the summits suffices to fill the heart of man. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." I now accept that there isn't any deeper meaning to struggle and it's important to live in the moment. Everyone is struggling in their own way. Everyone is struggling for their own desires, and at the deepest level, there is no reason for it.

Another book I recommend for the same reasons as above is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

[deveac]

If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading some of Camus's political essays, -most notably 'Letter to a German friend.' That essay in particular is breathtaking in its sheer emotion and morality, and while not contradicting them, an interesting departure from his most popular works. It is literally the only political essay that stirred enough emotion in me to make me cry. The essay is especaially poignant and rather sad for me as a US citizen in the wake of 9/11. It has to do with the moral use of force in retaliation and rebellion.

[locacorten]

I relate to your description growing up quite a bit. To be honest, getting older I've become very disappointed by the world and its imperfections. In any case, I don't know if talking about me is interesting to anyone.

However, I have to disagree with your conclusion (based on Camus) that questions remain unanswered. I think that's a failure -- Camus's failure as well as yours. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "I don't know. It is what it is." This is precisely the reason why I think "The Stranger" is a book with a lot of potential but ends up a failure. I suspect leaving things in limbo at the end is often masking the writer's (or director's) shortcomings.

You're probably happy with your life as a result, but you're taking the easy road and that road leads to nowhere.

In the meantime, I'll continue to stay unhappy and flabbergasted by the discrepancy between logic and fairness on one side and society on the other.

[gamegoblin]

The way you talk about "the easy road" implies that you think that their are "roads" to begin with. While you think how I live is an "easy road", that is only your view with the value you have assigned to actions. Camus would posit (and I would agree with) that from a universal perspective, there is no easy road or hard road. There are no roads. Nothing has intrinsic meaning and the universe doesn't care what you do. As far as I'm concerned, a rock sitting at the bottom of a ditch is taking the "hard road" and Gandhi took the "easy road".

You have to ask yourself why you perceive one road as being better or more noble than another. Once you reach the root of this question, I believe you will find that you have no reason to believe that one is better than the other and you have your beliefs for no other reason that "it is what it is."

As Wittgenstein said:"At the core of all well-founded belief lies belief that is unfounded.”

[cgag]

All roads lead to nowhere.

[badman_ting]

Yes, precisely.