[fnewz]

You hit it right on the head.

Getting to know a person isn't a technical skill that you master and practice at will. (Granted, parts of the process, like choosing interesting topics and getting a feel for what the other person wants to talk about is sort of a skill gained by practice).

Really getting to know a person requires you to actually care what the other person thinks. Almost all else will follow.

Someone here mentioned that they dislike smalltalk so much that they forget the other person's name right after the smalltalk ends. That's just one example of many of what happens if you contrive to talk to someone without actually caring about them.