[antitrust]

> I am told that my technical competence is undeniable but I'm way too introverted to be hired

My sympathy, because I can imagine this must be puzzling.

From experience, my analysis tree would go like this:

1. Is this a euphemism or excuse? Euphemisms can be used to cover up other meanings like "you look like a serial killer" or "bathe more." You might want to pursue those angles. Excuses can cover things like you wanting too much money, or being too strong in your opinions or knowledge. (Remember, the machine wants cogs, not governors.)

2. If you think it's actually what they mean, I'd look at the word as they're going to use it, which means "socially withdrawn" and not its actual meaning. Then I'd check these:

(a) Does my appearance scream "socialization difficulty"? Did I wear a monk's habit to the job interview, or talk about 1980s classic videogames too much?

(b) Does my behavior scream "socialization difficulty"? If so, I'd approach this as you would any other technical problem. Find some "normals" to observe and pretend you're James Bond, super spy, and imitate them. You must infiltrate the hive and shut off the reactor.

3. If none of the above are checked: something else is making them nervous. Talk to a recruiter, psychologist or other and have them observe you. Also, make sure no parts of your life or resume scream "serial killer" or "probably molests goats."

4. If that's not the case, think about where you're applying. The machine loves cogs -- I said that already -- but sometimes, silly people in charge of silly companies want cheerful happy cheerleader types who will socialize a lot, get really excited over foosball, etc. They like these because they're tractable and easily manipulated. These silly companies tend to be tech sweatshops that assess you based on the amount of code you grind, not how good it is. Do you want to work there anyway? If you do, you're going to have to play Halloween dress-up and imitate what they want.

I will never support bias against introverted people just so that there can be the illusion (sorry, I mean "appearance") of a happy enthusiastic go-get-'em workplace. That's just silly. But if your appearance or behavior makes other people nervous, and they're not nitwits, you might consider adopting a little bit of a charade so you can work with these people.

[antninja]

I look good but I speak too softly and I don't know how to improvise in conversations. So for a one-to-one technical conversation I have no problem but for casual chats within a group, I just listen and get nervous if the attention is on me. It's due to a lack of experience in talking (and being talked to) combined to perfectionism. The problem is that I need a job soon, not after several years of trying to gain this experience.

I chose to learn programming thinking the job would just be me and a computer, referring to one boss, but there seems to be more meetings and customer interactions than I hoped. Other commenters said that more quiet programming jobs exist so I'll keep sending my resume to companies who build their own softwares instead of agencies. I'm just a bit despaired that no one wants to let me work.

In a more long-term way, I'm trying to create my own business (disrupt Facebook!). If I can't be the employee, I must become the employer.

[HeyLaughingBoy]

A bit of friendly advice.

Being introverted is one thing, being socially awkward and getting nervous when people talking to you can be a hindrance. If you expect to create your own business, the most important aspect will be customer interaction; you will need to get past these issues in order to be successful.

[alexhawdon]

I must admit that last sentence certainly isn't without irony!

Seriously though, I wish you the best of luck. My advice would be to get yourself a good portfolio assembled and then maybe approach small- to medium-sized companies and just be open and frank with them. If you can demonstrate you have the skills there will be someone out there who is happy just to have someone sat coding up briefs, reporting only to them. Larger companies might find it more difficult to get around the mindset that meetings are universally important and everyone eventually wants to be a manager. A small business owner might see someone like you as a godsend if you help them understand that in return for being largely undisturbed (in a social, obv not work sense!) you will be loyal and productive.

[chidevguy]

I've been dealing with similar issues for a couple of years now. At the worst point I was unable to talk in groups of unfamiliar people without my heart rapidly pounding and face flushing. Not sure if it's quite that bad for you, but I'd recommend googling social anxiety. After learning about that I ended up working with a therapist and taking a year of improv classes. This was by far the best thing I've ever done and really helped my conversation skills. It'll also help with your confidence, which will in turn reduce your nervousness.

Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more.

[antitrust]

> I don't know how to improvise in conversations.

This is hard for everyone. It's why people make so many references to television, movies, music and sports in their small talk.