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by _sentient 4711 days ago
I've personally found most networking events to be terrible when it comes to making meaningful connections.

I've found it's much more effective to just email someone you're interested in connecting with, introduce yourself, and invite them meet up sometime for a coffee (or beer, depending on the time of day).

If they say yes, it's because they are also interested in what you're doing, and this acts as a quality filter to ensure you're both moderately aligned in your interests and not wasting each other's time. Plus, the one-on-one setting lends itself to more interesting and personal conversations, which tends to have the friend-building effect the original author appeals to.

Networking doesn't come naturally to most people, but being friendly and personable usually does. I find that combining the two removes some of the awkwardness, and makes your efforts that much more effective.

3 comments

The one-on-one aspect is huge. Our startup is trying to facilitate these kinds of informational coffee meetings:

Treatings: www.treatin.gs

We think there's something special about dating sites as compared to, say, Facebook or LinkedIn: everyone who has signed up has implicitly opted in to the possibility of being contacted by strangers to possibly meet up offline (though they aren't guaranteeing anything). Knowing that people have opted in like this makes most people more comfortable reaching out to strangers.

"Treatings account created! We are currently beta testing in New York City and will notify you when we open elsewhere."

I'm based in Portland, ME but am often in NYC. I presume there is no simple way to use the site yet for me?

not yet - we'll be in touch with you in the next month or so about it opening everywhere. thanks!
why was this downvoted?
Because it seems if one guy says "I like to wipe my ass" within 5 seconds on this site there will be a start-up to facilitate ass wiping.
Domain available? Firefox can't find the server at www.asswip.es.
I agree entirely.

I got burned out with the 'tech event' echo chamber a couple years ago and haven't looked back.

I've done exactly what the parent suggests: I find people I'd love to connect with and email them with an idea. My emails, while not a formula go something like this:

- Tell them how I heard about them - Mention something I know about them that I appreciate - Ask them for help on [subject I'd love their feedback on] - Ask if they'd be up for a coffee

The "trick" behind these emails? Be 100% genuine. I have something I want to talk to them about and I'm convinced we'll have a fruitful conversation.

You don't always need to give something back, at least right away, but you'll often discover where you can contribute through natural conversation. Eventually, you'll be the receiver of the same type of email I mentioned above.

Thinking about the missives I've sent, I'd say 8/10 result in a coffee meeting, and a worthwhile connection made.

I think the key to emailing cold is that you have to make it plausible that the other person can get something achieved for you in your connection. If you approach genuinely but don't know what you want out of the connection, then you're making it a risky endeavor for them in giving you their time. (and ain't nobody got time for that)
I don't remember where I read it, but ask to interview them, either for your blog, or something else. I've done this a few times with people I considered reach connections. Two years later, they are some of my closest allies.
Absolutely. In other words, they need to be convinced they'll get something out of the conversation, where "something" is anything from a simple ego boost to advice on something you're really good about that he/she isn't.
That sounds great. How do you find people you want to connect with though? Browsing on github by location somehow?
HN has worked pretty well for me - I've made 2 or 3 interested connections. Helps if you put your email address in your profile though.

Twitter is useful too.

If you're near any metro area, there's typically a Facebook / LinkedIn / etc. group for the people you're trying to reach. Become a member and start reading.
That's really good advice for anyone, but particularly for people who haven't already built a large network yet. I find that as my network grows, I can often get a personal introduction to people I want to meet through a friend. This is actually one thing I do like LinkedIn for. A coworker pointed out that I skipped over this very effective use of LinkedIn when I bashed it with a larger hammer than necessary.