[read]

First off, it's inspiring and courageous to write candidly about such a topic. Including the epiphany: That what I can do, is try to be the best whole person that I can be. That mindset would be helpful outside academia too.

But the more I read through stories like this the more I become convinced it's important to fool yourself: to convince yourself there's no pressure. As if the act itself unblocks some kind of neural pathways that allow you to do things you wouldn't have let yourself do otherwise.

The author might be a lot more courageous that they think, even if they hadn't realized it at the time: "But its not because I have extra courage. Rather, by demoting the prize, the risk becomes less."

Anecdotally, a professor once told me (when they look back on their tenure track) that it now seems irresponsible to them that they were devoting such little time to revising journal papers or writing such few grand proposals. (I got the feeling they were doing things that don't scale). Another said they were sure upfront they'd fire them at the end, so they tried to enjoy they ride while it lasted. Both of them got tenure.

Another thing this story shows is how logistics become manageable if you try. Like the approach to give the other person a weekend day off as counter-balance to you going on an extra trip is probably what prevents you from going astray. It's the right sort of tension. You pay twice for a workday like that (one for the trip, one for parent duty), so you now have a concrete measure to make that decision rather the vagueness of "it will help my career".