[chatmasta]

If your personal history includes memories of 36 events that make your "stomach churn," maybe you should investigate the cause for the events. You might trace all of them back to one origin. That's the root problem. So before you lament the impossibility of resolving your personal issues, try to fix them yourself. Don't excuse your behavior based on the presence of a controllably negative influence like Facebook. It doesn't make you do anything. Your decision of how to use it is entirely of your own volition. If you do not like how you handle that power, figure out why. Do not throw your arms up in the air and blame Facebook. Blame your own decisions and then address the cause. You're only avoiding the problem.

[eshvk]

That is rather harsh and rather tangential. Sure, ultimately every personal relationship being destroyed has two parties at fault; one of whom is yourself. Fixing yourself doesn't mean that you magically become a mormon missionary like grin and become at ease with everything life. The 'stomach churn' is a very human thing.

I feel like your rant places the blame solely on the user herself and not on the usability problems associated in the Facebook era.

E.g. blocking an ex would be easy. Yet, it also means that you cannot see if the other person is going to an event or not. This is an issue for certain people who don't really want to hang out at a certain event if their ex is going to it. The other alternative is to keep seeing them appear in your facebook interaction someway or the other: your chat box shows them as one of the most frequently messaged people; suggested events may be because they are going to a certain event.

[girvo]

I disagree, I feel that taking responsibility for your past makes things easier to deal with and easier to move on. Four out of six long term serious girlfriends cheated on me. While I feel that reflects badly on those girls personality, I also take responsibility for my behaviour in the relationship, I was a typical Beta male who didn't hold up my end of keeping the relationship stable. Accepting that has lead to me being a stronger happier person, in an excellent stable and above all, well adjusted long term relationship with a girl I'm desperately in love with.

What I'm saying, is the OP is blaming Social Media for her own issues,in my opinion anyway.

[temphn]

OP is being polite. Obviously the point is that Maureen O'Connor's problems have very little to do with Facebook's usability and very much to do with Xing with 36 guys, where "X" rises to Maureen's internal threshold for considering them "exes". Who wants to be #37? Or #43, to put a ring on it?

That's the source of the "user's" current and future unhappiness. Not Facebook's usability problems.