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by foobarbazqux 4729 days ago
I think my post must have been poorly worded. I meant to give her agency by encouraging her to stand up to him, instead of for him to do it (which is what happened).

If you disagree, okay, but what better actions could he have taken in this situation?

1 comments

No, I understood exactly that. You can't "give her agency". "Encouraging her to stand up to him" is exactly the wrong thing to do, she's chosen her choices as an adult who knows the score, and doing that is implying she just lacks the gumption and if only a dude was backing her up… No, it's not that easy. You may be the best intentioned dude in the world but you are ONE dude, and no, she is not going to suddenly start acting like a woman in a non sexist society at the risk of her own life, just because of one dude nominally taking her side.
Ok, but I'm still genuinely curious if you have an answer to my previous question.
Oh, apologies, my eyes skipped over it.

Well, he did an effective thing. It's unfortunate he had to rely on homophobia to get the point across. That has been described as "the fear that another man will treat you like you treat women" and it's clear that's what stopped creepy guy here in his tracks. He sure didn't like it when the non-consensual boot was on the other foot!

Yeah, I also thought that was weird. I don't know any gay guys that would step in like that.

I found a much more in-depth discussion of the article on meta-filter, maybe it's interesting to you.

http://www.metafilter.com/129974/Changing-the-Creepy-Guy-Nar...