[beachstartup]

"creepy" is just a code word for "unattractive" or "awkward"

i've been called hot, sexy, and creepy in the same hour span on a night out.

speaking up in the conversation at the wrong time, or just having the wrong look on your face can be "creepy". staring off into space while thinking about code? watch out, you could be creeping someone out. overhear something and decide to but in with a "hey i think i know what you're talking about..." - watch out. potential creeper.

it is a word that is rapidly losing meaning due to massive overuse. i'm guessing a lot of people have been called 'creepy' before without knowing why (the accuser NEVER, EVER will tell you why, as it's usually a "feeling" and not a "fact") and that's why the accused are getting upset.

[fragsworth]

> "creepy" is just a code word for "unattractive" or "awkward"

It's not even really a code word anymore. It's just offensive. And usually when people say it, it's in a judgmental tone, which explains why everyone gets irate about it.

You might as well say someone is fat, old, ugly, or socially inept, using a typically disgusted tone, but people never say those things that way. But somehow calling someone "creepy" is O.K.?

[rosser]

"creepy" is just a code word for "unattractive" or "awkward"

No, it's not — at least not necessarily, which seems to be your implication.

One can be awkward and not be a creeper. One can be unattractive and not be a creeper. One can be a creeper and be neither awkward nor unattractive. And, yes, one can be all three.

The difference between them tends, in my (male, second-hand) experience, to be one of persistence. Awkward doesn't always stick around long past the point where it's no longer welcome. Creepers, awkward or not — and unintentionally or not — do.

EDIT: phrasing.

[Millennium]

Actually, I'd argue that over the age of 25 or so, one can't be awkward and not be a creeper. If you're still oversexualizing every interaction with women like some 14-year-old, as evidenced by awkwardness, there is something deeply wrong.

So the theory goes, ay any rate.

[chrisro]

>The difference between them tends, in my (male, second-hand) experience, to be one of persistence.

Woman: "If you're not listening to me now when I say no, how can I possibly trust you will listen later?"

[PavlovsCat]

"creepy" is just a code word for "unattractive" or "awkward"

In this context, it simply means being pushy and mumbling (or screaming) about sex and/or violence all the time. E.g. http://fatuglyorslutty.com/

i've been called hot, sexy, and creepy in the same hour span on a night out.

Yes, and people have called making a lot of money "killing it" before, too, but that doesn't suddenly make murder okay. How's that for a simple exercise in logic.

If a word being overused makes people unable to pay attention to the matter at hand, why do they insist on having an opinion anyway, not to mention being so vile about it? The question remains.

[theorique]

Yes, and people have called making a lot of money "killing it" before, too, but that doesn't suddenly make murder okay. How's that for a simple exercise in logic.

That doesn't really follow.

What he meant was that some people experienced him as hot, some experienced him as sexy, and some experienced him as creepy. In other words, he was not objectively any one of those things - different people had different expectations and standards. He was more appealing to some people than others.

And this is perfectly normal. Not everyone gets along with everyone else.

[PavlovsCat]

It's still talking about himself, not the stuff the blog post is about. It's still the same responding to a discussion about murder that they know people who wouldn't hurt a fly, but are regularly mistaken for hardened criminals because they have violent tattoos, or whatever. I mean, it's a nice story, but it's at best random, at worst being dense.

If anyone wants to argue the behaviour the post is actually referring to is not creepy, go ahead. Or explain why you feel addressed, I really don't understand why otherwise smart people regularly draw blanks on this one and get lost in the woods of semantics.

Not everyone gets along with everyone else.

You could say that to everything.

Have you ever dressed up as a good looking woman? I recommend it, it's an eye opener. I got talked into letting a female friend do make-up on me, it was pretty much perfect (I basically dressed up as a girl that didn't bother with a costume), and ta-daaa, at the carneval party of our school, which we did this, some older guy who worked there (super posh place), passing by behind me in a very crowded spot, grabbed my ass with BOTH hands, and so hard it very nearly hurt. But just for a split second, and before I could fully realize what had happened, much less turn around, he had moved on and when I finally did turn around I only saw his balding head disappear in the crowd (of my schoolmates, none of whom had such big hands by a very long shot, before anyone tries to tell me something about a situation I experienced first hand that I didn't know already, as seems to be tradition for some).

I'm not proud that I actually laughed instead of running after him, it was like he certified what great a job we had done (her mother was a professional make-up person, and she spent over an hour just on my face) -- but I wasn't the 15 year old girl he thought I was, and other than that he knew exactly what he was doing, he attacked and moved away like a snake, there was nothing playful about this, nothing at all. I often thought back to this episode when growing up, and I vowed to never take any of this lightly. And even with the stuff others told me, first-hand experience, even as minor as this one, made a world of difference to me. It's like seeing a world that was hidden from you for the first time -- the stuff some men normally don't do when I am around, because I am around...! -- and it's a shitty fucking world we should nuke from orbit.

So.... I see what the OP was being called creep for (not that they told us, just that the fact that they were called that means the word means nothing, heh), and raise you my little anecdote for what I would call very creepy.

You surely can see how "Not everybody gets along with everybody" is not really a good response here -- it kinda constitutes the default position of passivity, which is siding with the offender. And ignorance is not a defense when you're not even trying to understand, but immediately prefer to talk stuff which is NOT the subject.

If little kids think it's fine to wish rape on girls just because they're owning them in Call of Duty, then personally, I don't care if they're rapists or butt grabbers in spe, they're supporting something, unknowingly or recklessly or because they're actually twisted, which fucking needs to go, period. In the meantime, if people really for the life of them can't understand what the blog post is referring to, what seedy underbelly indeed, because words like "creep" are too big for them.... they really shouldn't pretend they're anything but talking past a discussion that's not possible to have with them.

[beachstartup]

i've had my ass grabbed hard before too, by women. the first time it happened i was 14 years old, in high school. i remember it vividly - one of the senior girls grabbed my ass and said i was cute, and then ran off. it happens routinely when you go out to bars. someone will grab your ass in the crowd. you don't have to be a woman for this to happen to you.

i've also had my penis grabbed and fondled by women. female fingers run through my hair against my will (i have long black hair), and physically harangued by a mob of women.

i'm not a classically attractive person - it's just that being 'fun' opens you up to this sort of thing from ALL people.

[b1daly]

Your anecdote illustrates where the anger and frustration around the topic comes from. What you describe is a form of harassment, possibly assault in contexts. I hear women use the term creepy not to describe behavior like that, usually it's about unwanted attention of a sexual nature by a low status or unattractive male.

I might not be tuned in to exactly how the phrase"creeper" is used, but I think it's used to turn the adjective to a noun. Which is even more upsetting and mean, as you assigning a whole, derogatory identity to someone based on actions which are almost always a small percentage of all their actions.

To not see this is being willfully obtuse.

[beachstartup]

> Yes, and people have called making a lot of money "killing it" before, too, but that doesn't suddenly make murder okay. How's that for a simple exercise in logic.

i can't even follow your logic here.