[jacques_chester]

You sound like you have depression.

Depression is treatable. See a doctor as soon as possible.

Pick up the phone.

Right now.

Pick up the phone and call a doctor. Make an appointment. For today if possible.

Right now.

Once you've done that, call a help line. Immediately.

Depression is treatable. You are not alone. It can and does get better. There is no need to suffer.

[rolledover]

I've been depressed in some form or fashion since I was in high school. I'm not sure if it's because my life has been a massive failure, or because I actually am chemically lacking. I've seen horror stories of people who have taken anti-depressive drugs, and half of my family is on them. I think some cognitive therapy would be useful, but I really hope I don't need medicine. I don't even take advil if I can help it. I would honestly be terrified of telling any doctor something like that. I live in TX, and have very little trust for most of the doctors I have seen in my life. They all have agendas.

[jacques_chester]

I've been depressed on and off for my entire life. Treatment was simple and a revelation. For the first time in my life I could simply be, without having to fight to be.

No more treading water ... in treacle.

Really, see a doctor. It's the best and most important decision you'll ever make.

[rolledover]

When you say treatment, do you mean medicine? I am really fearful of taking meds for this. But I do feel like I have to fight every single day just to be. Everything feels impossible, and I am completely overwhelmed and dismal.

[jacques_chester]

Medicine is not the only option. Psychological therapy can help.

Both is better than either alone.

The medicine is not a cure. But it relieves the condition sufficiently that you will be able to catch your breath and get the space and time necessary to work on therapy as well.