[mvanveen]

I am not "confused" by this attitude. Can we cut a victim some slack? I think asking her to take on that "subtle institutionalized sexism" is part of the reason she expressed qualms about publishing this in the first place.

I think it took tremendous courage for the author to post this and I don't think it's fair to ask her to try and address all these issues with her tone.

I think the fact we're more interested in analyzing the authors tone rather than sympathizing with a woman who DEFENDED HERSELF FROM RAPE and wasn't given sufficient support at a conference is maybe why she feels like she has to put out such a tone.

Please don't misinterpret me and think I'm saying that dongle jokes are ok and that subtle, institutionalized sexism isn't a big deal. I just think we could do more to give people some safe space to express anecdotes like this, and that might help foster an atmosphere of discussion.

Maybe then the next person who has the courage to come forward with an issue like this will feel empowered enough to talk about the cultural factors you're mentioning without needing to get on the defensive.

[mdisraeli]

(This comment is based on reading the edited thread-starting post, but is more of an aside to the topic)

As someone involved in minority liberation campaigning, one of the biggest failings I see of my peers is not letting members of the minority group /just get on with their lives/. We are fighting for people to not have to fight, so it's important that we support the right of those marginalised to /not take a stand/, give them support when they on occasion decide to do so, and yet not expect them to do so again.

[indrax]

Thank you, edited.