[hacker789]

Nice. Feminist bullies use the same tactics and insults that kids use in middle school.

What's so wrong with asking someone in an elevator? I'm all ears. Is it because you think women will cower in terror because they're an enclosed box with a man?

[JohnHaugeland]

> What's so wrong with asking someone in an elevator? I'm all ears.

If the request makes them uncomfortable, the closed nature of the space makes it difficult for them to make a polite exit. The same applies to other locations where someone is temporarily unable to leave.

This also isn't really so much about dating or gender. Equally inappropriate would be uninvited political or religious commentary, bleak comedy, reference to recent very sad topics (violence, disease, natural disaster, abuse scandal,) or other topics with an unusual likelihood of creating distress.

The general idea is, just wait for the elevator to open, and ask once they have stepped outside; thirty seconds isn't going to kill you.

[rmrfrmrf]

There's nothing insulting about having a mental illness. However, having such blatant disregard for others' feelings and established societal norms can land you in jail. While you may be incapable of empathy on your own, therapy can help you find ways to make the effects of empathy beneficial to you (usually by some form of quantification of results based on emulation of empathy).

[hacker789]

You've both diagnosed me with autism and insinuated it could land me in jail if left untreated? You're lovely.

I'll ask you again. What's so wrong with calmly asking someone in an elevator for coffee? I remember these discussions after Rebecca Watson publicly complained about it—the vast majority of people felt she was vastly overreacting. So it's definitely not an "established societal norm".

Despite their rhetoric, radical feminists love infantilizing women. They treat women as fragile, triggerable, sensitive creatures who won't feel safe unless they're handled with kid gloves.

[swombat]

Would you feel uncomfortable if a fat, ugly woman with an annoying nasal voice opened conversation at the beginning of a 30-floor elevator ride by asking you out for coffee?

"Can I get a coffee with you mister? You're so handsome."

"Er, no, sorry, I'm busy."

45 seconds of lift going up in embarrassed silence

I'm sure anyone can handle it, but it's definitely uncomfortable.

Now imagine if this happened every day, because if it's socially acceptable and you are handsome and working in a tall building, it probably will.

[hacker789]

That would be an uncomfortable question to ask at the beginning of a long elevator ride, but it's no more uncomfortable than the following common and socially acceptable situation:

I'm at a fairly small club downtown. A woman is walking toward me, so I make eye contact and say "hi!".

She sits down next to me, and we begin to talk. She's very nice, but after a few minutes of conversation, I'm not attracted to her at all, and it's clear we have very little in common.

"Hacker789, you have a really cute smile. I'd love to get your number."

"Ah..."

I look down, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her nervously twisting her hair in her fingers.

I cringe just thinking about that, because it's happened to me before! But I would never shame her for asking me, and I would never charge her with making me feel "unsafe". That would make me into a villain.

And let's be clear—it can be dreadfully awkward to leave the table at a small club, often taking more than a minute to politely finish the task without hurting the other person's feelings too badly. It's even worse if your friend is at the table, happily talking to an acquaintance of the person you just rejected!

At least in an elevator, you're automatically free after the doors open.

Would I ever ask someone at the beginning of a long elevator ride a question that might make them uncomfortable? No, not if I could avoid it. In fact, I wouldn't ask anyone an uncomfortable question at the beginning of a long bus or train ride, either. But not every situation that has the potential to create discomfort is socially unacceptable; part of being a social creature is to take minor discomfort in stride, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

And the more frequently an uncomfortable situation happens to you, the better you get at handling it.