[brudgers]

The reality is that you do not have the knowledge skills and abilities to determine the developmental status of the child. Nor do you have the expertise to formulate a developmental plan should their be one. You're just a guy with a girl and a rugrat.

A child is not a lawnmower engine. Children don't get damaged and repaired. They grow up, each as their own snowflake.

Everyone doesn't get frustrated to the point of pathologizing their child's development. Growing up needs to happen all around.

Good luck.

[jwdunne]

No but social services do have the knowledge, skills and abilities and they have determined he has the mindset of a 1 year old. This is why I know he is severely behind, not just because I've decided he is severely behind.

I'm not saying he is like a lawnmower engine and I didn't mean it this way. I'm trying to find better ways on how to educate him and help him grow. This doesn't mean I'm doing so at the expense of loving him and giving him a good upbringing. In fact, it's the opposite. He isn't going to develop in the way that I'd like if he has a less than great childhood.

People do get frustrated when they see a child they love so damaged and feel powerless to do anything about it.

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it, but a part of me feels that you have misunderstood what I meant and my intentions.

[brudgers]

First, accept my apology for not asking more questions before jumping to a negative conclusion. Internet habits die hard.

I went through architecture studios with a quadriplegic. Tim crashed a motorcycle while studying fine art as an undergrad. He could move his head. Holding a pencil in his teeth, he could sketch more quickly and beautifully than most of the class. By kindness, there would be a sketchbook within his reach.

My advice as a parent is that feelings of frustration and unfulfilled expectations can form a barrier to being in and savoring your moments with him. Life is not about what someone can't do, but what they can.

[jwdunne]

It's no problem at all, I should have been specific about how I've come to know such details about his development :) I'm not an expert and this is new water for me.

Thanks for your advice and taking the time to help me out, it's much appreciated. I do understand your point and looking at things I can see how my focus and frustrations may have gotten in the way.