|
I suspect that I have a lot more energy and desire than my peers. But even so, I suffered similar burnout to the OP about 6 months ago. I attribute my burnout to trying to continue hard-driving my startup idea while simultaneously trying to juggle additional, optional life changes along with working a regular, full-time job. My optional life changes were: my wife and I decided to have our first kid and we wound up with twins, and started an overly painful re-fi process on the house, and spent 24 months trying to get a new job in town so I wouldn't have to travel as much for work. The burnout I suffered seemed cataclysmic for my startup idea. I started to question it and myself, why wasn't I making progress? All this stuff I have to manage is too much, I wish I was 25 again with no responsibility. I just turned 39!! I'm getting old, now with kids; I'll never be able to make anything out of this thing, I waited too long... My yard is a mess, my desk is a heap of papers. :( Blah blah, that's all just stinkin' thinkin', as someone else said. My depression came from my not acknowledging that I was already at a diminished capacity with the twins' arrival, and then I stupidly decided to ratchet up the job search AND re-fi my house! What was I thinking?? There is a limit, and I wasn't being realistic about what I could manage. The good news (for me at least) is, the tidal wave of burnout-inducing extra responsibilities has receded and my new, local day job is so undemanding and steady. I find myself ending the day with some spare energy and I have gradually started to reconnect with my startup project by taking on some low energy improvements that I could feel proud of. Just last night, on looking at my pages render out just so, I got that feeling of secret pride for the first time in so long. I was back to making a quality product again. I think the OP is feeling burnt by all the failures and false starts and that's creating a negative spiral. Butch up, OP. You're a systems programmer coming out of the video games biz like me. You can cogitate about systems in ways that many cannot. Take some pride in that. Husband your resources. When you're feeling strong again, make some wise decisions and get back in the game. |