[err_badprocrast]

FTA: 'Loneliness “is not synonymous with being alone, nor does being with others guarantee protection from feelings of loneliness,” writes John Cacioppo, the leading psychologist on the subject. Cacioppo privileges the emotion over the social fact because—remarkably—he’s sure that it’s the feeling that wreaks havoc on the body and brain. Not everyone agrees with him, of course. Another school of thought insists that loneliness is a failure of social networks. The lonely get sicker than the non-lonely, because they don’t have people to take care of them; they don’t have social support.'

From experience I definitely agree that having very little/no social interaction is not synonymous with loneliness.

I'm curious whether the social interaction/suicide relation is correlation or causation.

[hosh]

Neither.

This kind of loneliness has as much to do with rejecting oneself as it is being rejected by other people.

Each of us have emotional wounds inside that are sensitive. We typically wrap layers and layers of personality, activities, and rationalizations to protect it. And if it gets through that, it triggers some protective emotional outbursts or behaviors. Or we shut down, like the woman in catatonia.

It is usually painful enough that the mind does not want to be aware of it, and when hitting upon that, will naturally veer away from it.

You can be fundamentally lonely in a crowd of millions. You can be the meditating sage in some isolated cave for years, because you know at the core you are not alone.

[intellegacy]

Insightful emotional intelligence you don't see often on HN. Where/how did you learn that?

[hosh]

I got my ass kicked several times by a goddess. ;-) Each time, I saw a lot of things about myself I didn't want to see. I got inundated with feelings I didn't want to feel. I've felt what love feels like, and I know it's there even in the most painful and horrible places. I know we're never truly alone or abandoned; I've wept for the people still wandering lost, not knowing what they seek is right there with them. I've learned how to meditate and have been practicing it for a while. This is all still an ongoing transformation. Feel free to email if you want details.