[neilk]

> I spend the day bedridden and panic-stricken by my own insecurities.

To the author of the piece: you are depressed. You are shutting down all reasons to like yourself or even to have fun. I strongly advise counseling, immediately. Even though you're in the middle of exams, this is very important. Your school will have free or inexpensive resources available.

I know you wrote your piece as a cautionary tale, but there's a subtext of giving up on yourself, and it seems that acknowledging and showing imperfection is very difficult for you - or very difficult for your family. (Let me guess, Asian parents?)

There is a way out. However, the way out does not involve barricading yourself in your room or deciding that you are inherently broken.

The thing that successful people have in common is not being superhuman, it's that they seek out -- and get -- help from other people all the time.

[CatMtKing]

I agree. Get help! It's not something to be ashamed of. Failure isn't something to be ashamed of. College isn't a race; maybe consider taking a year off and doing some exploring. Here's a quick Google for advice for taking a year off from college: http://ask.metafilter.com/25004/Taking-a-year-off-from-colle...

Otherwise, I can recommend to you a book that opened my eyes to the process of learning. The Art of Learning -- Josh Waitzkin.

[SecretofMana]

Thank you for your advice.

The acknowledging and showing imperfection part is very difficult for me, not for my family, who have been very supportive and understanding along the way.