[eunikins]

Asian immigrant parents produce just as many problematic first-generation asian kids. The middle-upper class asian bubble of a community I grew up in may have seemed affluent, filled with polite and studious kids, but the undercurrents of bored, overachieving, over-pressured teens lost to gangs and drugs are never talked about.

The asian kids that do come out hardworking and studious from our tiger parents are not all rainbows and sprinkles either, as many are stunted in emotional development and social communication due to the extreme discipline and pressure we had to deal with growing up.

Lastly, and most ironically, asian immigrant parents always push their kids to be the best, and being "good enough" is never enough. The pressure to achieve, the detached politeness of the traditional asian culture -- there are plenty of cracks that a misguided teenager could fall into.

"Good enough" can be applied to job, money, work, and any other tangible thing. But humans and emotions make the world go 'round, and when you have the future of an innocent, malleable human being in your hands, there is no such thing as "good enough" parenting. That is the entire dilemma being discussed here for women - compromising to be "good enough" at work so that they can be "good to the best of their ability" for their children. Not the other way around.

[rayiner]

The idea that hard-working asians are "maladjusted" is mostly veiled racism. And the idea that there are no diminishing returns to parenting time invested is unsubstantiated hand-waving.

[beachstartup]

> The idea that hard-working asians are "maladjusted" is mostly veiled racism

NO IT'S NOT. I am asian american and have encountered many of these people in my life and career. these people are broken.

[rayiner]

I assume you work in tech? I've encountered many "maladjusted" people in tech--I don't think a disproportionate share of them were asian. The only "maladjustment" I have encountered disproportionately among asians, awkwardness with women, has more to do with conservative cultural attitudes about sex and dating than anything to do with parents spending too much time at work or not giving them enough attention.

Besides that, the other stuff is racism or at least ethnocentrism. Contemporary American culture places a weird value on being "well rounded" that is alien both to asian culture and to American culture of years past. That's where a lot of the pressure on parents to invest time comes from--gotta take little Timmy to soccer practice and school plays so he'll be "well rounded." Gotta invest the time to help him cultivate a wide range of interests and hobbies, get involved in the community, etc. It's an upper-class pretension that harkens back to the days when having a variety of hobbies and interests was the mark of the elite who didn't have to work for a living.

[hackinthebochs]

By what metric?