| Death seems like the best way out of an unbearable position. You're intelligent; you've analyzed the options the best you can; you can't find anything else. I've been there. I'm bipolar, type 1. I think I may know what you're going through. Realize that life doesn't have to be this way and that there are things that you can do to make it better. Realize that you're not able to make full use of your intelligence in the state you're in. You need help making choices and analyzing your situation. Professional help. Talking to a psychologist and being treated by a psychiatrist turned my life around. Again, I'm bipolar, so my condition may be more permanent than yours. Remember, taking medication isn't a sign of weakness. Many people only need to take it to get out of their current rut and then cast it off as soon as they see the light of day. I was against taking medication for a long time. But then I realized that brain tissue can be diseased just as any other bodily tissue can be diseased. Something else that helps is to interact with your loved ones more: friends, family, anyone who you love and who loves you too. Talk to them. Let them know what's going on in your life. If you don't have anyone like this in your life, I'm sorry. This may be contributing to your suicidal thoughts. As others have said, a good diet, exercise, vitamins, and plenty of fresh air and sunshine go a long way. These are things that will help long term and will probably keep you from returning to this state. But, first, you need radical intervention. Make an appointment with a therapist. Today. Be completely open with them. Do as they say. Don't think you're smarter than they are. Remember, right now you're not capable of using your mind to its full capacity. You're sick. Let a professional help you. Right away. |