[httpitis]

> how to deal with the burden of this

Maybe I don't understand your situation well enought but is this really what you want to do?

I got interested in software development when I was 13 years old. Since then I''ve done software devlopoment both as a hobby and professionally. Now, in my mid 40's I work as a software developer and I'm having the time of my life!

My $.02 would be (as others in the thread has recommended) to take it slow. Also, try different things and focus on the things you find exciting!