| > I place a high value on treating others with respect, helping without expecting anything in return, etc. Really, only the former is common courtesy. The latter is something else--generosity. That can also pay off, but it can also bite. If a person is too generous, then they can get taken advantage of. To illustrate with an example: let's say I pitch a client to build a web site for them. They come back and say that they really liked my pitch, but would like me to do some mockups of a new site before they can commit to hiring me. The generous thing would be to agree. But that is time I'm not getting paid for, and in the long run, undercuts the value of my time and expertise as a professional. I'm getting taken advantage of. But I can still be courteous, by promptly responding, thanking them for their interest and telling them how excited I am to work with them. Unfortunately, though, the press of other business means that I can't take on spec work right now. Maybe (if I really need the business) I could offer to structure the relationship in phases--pay a small fixed fee upfront for a mockup, and if they don't like it, we can part ways with minimal lost investment on either side. If they do like it, then we're on to the next step. The potential client might walk away--true. But if I was always prompt and courteous, they would still have a positive impression of me. I'm not saying "don't help people". I'm just saying that it's possible to courteously stick up for myself. |