[jmtame]

At one startup we sold access to our kick-ass CMS to another web design shop on a per-project basis.

In that case, it's beneficial to you and I see that as an objectively good thing. I would do the same thing. In my case, OkCupid is a product I've tried and I am entitled to my own opinions about it, even if they are negative. What we're doing isn't complimentary in the same way. I know they don't want to help us out because I've done enough research on IAC to understand it's not in their corporate DNA to want to work with their competitors. Their mission is to buy or shut competitors down.

Some early stage startup founders genuinely want to help other founders out because they're both in the same boat. In this case, I'm referring specifically to a media mogul who has an agenda of keeping competitors out of his space. He fears the Internet because it is a way to bypass middlemen. He knows that artists may eventually go out and promote themselves, but he wants them to be perpetually stuck on Ticketmaster. He doesn't care about innovating, he's only out for the money.

It would be insane not to talk with these people just on the fear of wasting half an hour because you don't want to be acquired.

I'm giving up half of my day to meet with anyone in SF. It doesn't sound like much to most people, but it's a lot for an early stage startup. The pattern is also that they don't want to just meet once, they want to stay in touch and keep meeting. That adds up over time.

[jsnell]

Sure, you do what's best for you. But I'm objecting to the blanket generalization.

There are plenty of positive outcomes other than an acquisition offer from talking to a competitor. My anecdotal data is that those other outcomes are much more common than acquisition offers. Yours appears to be the opposite. It might be due to the different kinds of businesses. It might be geographical. Or something else. It seems much better for people to not start applying your rule of thumb until they figure out which camp their business falls into.

[jmtame]

It's not a blanket generalization, I think that's the misunderstanding here. I should clarify that my advice is targeted at early stage startup founders. I don't think it applies to small businesses or lifestyle businesses. I don't think it applies in your case because you weren't working on an early stage startup.

I've always had more of an interest in patterns at startups, particularly early stage. I wrote a book on this because of my interest, and the founders echoed the same sentiment with the pattern of competitors wanting to acqui-hire by talking early on. More info on my profile if you're interested.