YAY! .Net sorts bytes faster than Async.js sorts floats. In similar news, Go seems to split strings faster than .Net sorts bytes on my laptop. Fascinating stuff.
cd ~
> empty
php -S localhost:8080
## on the other console
time { echo -e 'GET /empty HTTP/1.1\n\n' | nc localhost 8080 >/dev/null; }
real 0m0.003s
user 0m0.001s
sys 0m0.000s