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by Niten 4841 days ago
> As for your comment about me being oversensitive, way to miss the point of the last paragraph of my post.

I do get your notion of 1,000 paper cuts, or at least I think I do. But let me rephrase that – why should you consider my hypothetical complaint, as a heterosexual male, that my coincidentally female significant other doesn't "get" my interests in technology to be one of those cuts in the first place?

Before I was a programmer I worked in K-12 education, where females rather than males comprise the dominant population, so I think I have the experience to comment on this. There was some actual sexism that I faced there, as a male charged with watching over students. But for all of that, I never allowed myself to feel discomfort about the fact that most of my coworkers were female. Nor that when they complained about their significant others during our lunch breaks, those SOs happened to be overwhelmingly male. It was just something I had to get over.

> The intent of my blog posts (there's a few in the series) was to share my personal experiences and feelings. Not to explicitly label them as sexism or say everyone must share those feelings or say "hey you, you better go fix this" or any other number of things you seem to be attributing to it.

I grant that I may have missed the purpose of your posts (I will read them from the beginning), but when you call these things "paper cuts" it is implied that these are wrongs that have been done unto you, whether or not they fall into the subcategory of sexism. If they are indeed wrongs, then they need to be addressed so that other people do not suffer them as well. Or if they are not wrongs, then they are your own problem, and why complain about them publicly in the first place?

1 comments

It's rather telling that you feel so entitled as to tell others what they should and shouldn't be offended by.
It's rather telling that when someone brands a given behavior as offensive, you imagine the discussion must stop there. That nobody else has the right to argue in the defense that, het, the 'perpetrator' has actually done nothing wrong in this specific case, and since one cannot rightfully insist that speakers no longer mention their significant others ever, the author really should get over this particular offense in order to function in the community at large.

If you think I have no right to say that, you would probably find yourself more comfortable on a private soapbox that in a discussion forum.

Wait, you're allowed to be offended. But the person you're reacting to should get over what bothers them. And somebody reacting to your offense should pursue an oxymoronic private soapbox?

You are a special, special snowflake.

Either you're intentionally misrepresenting my position or your reading comprehension needs serious help.
Ah yes. Again, you conclude that the only possible outcomes are ones where you are in the right.