[mindcrime]

"sexual joke" are not necessarily "sexist jokes" and there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized by the mere mention of sexuality. Is making sexual jokes at a conference unprofessional? Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot. Whether it's unprofessional enough to justify:

"You will be gone. Gone."

"Count on it."

is quite clearly a subjective matter. All I can say is, don't invite me to represent at any event you put on. Being professional is one matter, catering to PC bullshit in the misguided belief that you can avoid even the remotest possibility of offending someone, is quite something else.

[jodrellblank]

It's not about "the remotest possibility of offending people", it's about the cultural background that a large penis is pushed as a dominating, masculine thing, and being in a room of 80% male attendees and someone makes a "big dongle" comment (for example) skews the environment in a male-friendly-masculine-dominance way and a female-unfriendly way.

In the same way that being around a group of really rich people and saying you missed an appointment because your car broke down and they say "didn't want to get the weekend car wet, eh? Why didn't you hire one for the day you cheapskate! Hahaha!".

It's not the mention of money that matters, it's the automatic dismissal of your life situation as something that doesn't happen to real people - it isn't even a concept - to all the other people in the group, and how alienating that scenario is to be on the 'wrong' side of. The implicit pushing of the idea "everybody" is rich and because you aren't, well, you aren't really a person. Not really.

And you say "hey, I couldn't afford one, I missed whatever it was and that sucked for me" and they say "what do you want me to do, pretend I'm a pauper forever and never talk about money? That's just political correctness GONE MAD!".

But the request is not "they should pretend to be poor", it's more like "they should consider your situation as a real person and then not say something that sounds like a clueless bozo said it".

[ciupicri]

Since you've started this analogy what am I doing in that group of rich people if I don't belong there? Also, do I really want to be there or am I doing it just because it's cool or whatever?

[jodrellblank]

I hadn't decided, but it ought to be something basically irrelevant to the point, so not a country club or a networking event with potential investors. Maybe you were pushed by family obligation into visiting your spouse's rich relative at their lakeside property and all got invited next door to a barbecue. How's that?

They're all rich and friendly, they're basically "nice" people, and you're not rich in their league. They're "trying" to help you fit in, but somehow everything they say just helps to heighten the feeling that you aren't equal and don't belong. You roll with the punches, you aren't offended, but you are alienated. You'll make the best of the night, but next time you'll try harder to avoid going.

Which is fine for an informal night with strangers, but it's not the feeling a trying-to-be-inclusive professional event wants to invoke in significant fractions of the population. It's the difference between them "trying" to be friendly (in quotes - meaning acting how they would act to each other to be friendly) and actually being friendly in the all you have to do is whatever it takes sense.

[ciupicri]

Speaking of PC bullshit, let me quote from the agile manifesto website [1] (emphasis mine):

> This freedom from the inanities of corporate life attracts proponents of Agile Methodologies, and scares the begeebers (you can’t use the word ‘shit’ in a professional paper) out of traditionalists.

It looks like you've already been unprofessional by using that word :-) By the way, I don't want to be part of those events, too.

[1] http://agilemanifesto.org/history.html

[rmrfrmrf]

> "sexual joke" are not necessarily "sexist jokes"

There is absolutely no point to this statement. Inappropriate comments do not need to be tied to a particular group of people.

> there is no particular reason to say that women are somehow traumitized [sic] by the mere mention of sexuality.

Thanks for the man-splaining. Are you, by chance, on a tour of inner city high schools telling black kids about how affirmative action is unfair to white people?

> Yes, but it's unprofessional regardless of the gender of anyone or everyone in earshot.

Oh ok, so you're fine with an offensive joke being offensive, you just have an issue with the fact that a woman brought it up. Got it.

> All I can say is, don't invite me to represent at any event you put on. Being professional is one matter, catering to PC bullshit in the misguided belief that you can avoid even the remotest possibility of offending someone, is quite something else.

Mommy, help! They're taking away my boys club!!

[mindcrime]

Please don't put words in my mouth. I will happily stand by any and every thing I've said here, but I feel no need to defend strawmen and intentional misinterpretations.

Better yet, just go back to Slashdot and do your trolling there.