[newnewnew]

Men, and especially white and Asian men, are afraid and confused because other people have this powerful weapon they can use against them called "getting offended". The rules for how it works are fuzzy and not printed anywhere and anyways they vary from place to place. So men, and especially highly logical men, are scared, curious, and very motivated to try to figure out the rules.

In recent cases of sexual harassment at conferences, the rules were very clear-cut. The lesson was "don't touch a woman that doesn't want to be touched by you" or "don't put porn in a presentation", for those few men dense enough not to know that in the first place. Conferences learned a lot and got serious about being safer places for women. Pycon was a leader in that.

But this time everything is scary and confusing. People don't know what lesson to take. So they're blindly groping for an answer.

[tptacek]

This is what an /r/MensRights commenter looks like, right? The weird, totally irrelevant racial tinge the comment has is a signal too, right?

[newnewnew]

There are people that have the "I'm offended" weapon and people that don't. As far as I can tell offending a woman or a non-Asian racial minority is considered to be a Very Bad Thing. It might even get you fired. And there are no rules. Every person is different and you don't know who you will offend and who you won't. Adria was spotted playing "Cards Against Humanity" at the conference and I would assume that I would be safe making almost any joke in conversation with someone that played CAH. But I would be wrong and she would kill my job with her special weapon.

There's good reason these groups have these weapons. They have historically gotten the shit end of the stick from everybody else and we are sensitive to any potential bias compensate for that. But with power comes responsibility and we can't go using our weapons unreasonably if we are all going to get along.

I don't mean to have a "irrelevant racial tinge" and you can correct me if you think I'm wrong, but my read is that white and Asian men don't have this weapon, unless they are disadvantaged in some other obvious way. For example, if a handicapped white man got offended at someone making some statement related to that handicapp it might be treated with the same gravity. But most don't have the weapon, so they are scared and confused and grope for understanding (like the OP).

I've never been to /r/MensRights. I guess I'm not supposed to say things like this. I could just think forbidden thoughts to myself, but I would rather engage in dialog with others to learn more.

[jodrellblank]

Adria was spotted playing "Cards Against Humanity" at the conference and I would assume that I would be safe making almost any joke in conversation with someone that played CAH. /But I would be wrong and she would kill my job with her special weapon/

Evidence for this claim?

[hackmatic5678]

http://instagram.com/p/W3htw7gaR5/

[tptacek]

Please tell me you don't really care.

[newnewnew]

Do you know what Cards Against Humanity is? The moderator puts out a prompt card like "Santa ran out of coal, so this Christmas he is stuffing bad kid's stockings with __________". And then other players anonymously submit cards to fill in the blank with words on them like "AIDS", "A starving African child", "Michael Jackson", "White Privilege", "Anal Beads", "the Holocaust" and etc. The idea is to hit every awful thing you could possibly say. People find this funny because it has all the jokes you can't make in it because they are so horrible. Sort of like dead baby jokes.

I would assume I could joke about a dongle with such a person.

[jodrellblank]

This is basically arguing the same as saying that because she would discuss her breasts in one context with a doctor, you should be able to discuss them with her in any context.

It's such a stupid claim on your part that "context doesn't matter" and you're still not doing anything to back up your claim that she would "get people fired" for playing CAH - especially when she did play it and did not raise any complaints about it.

[tptacek]

Yes, white and/or Asian guy. Live in fear. The rules have changed. There are no rules. Bullets won't harm the women unless they're made of silver. The garlic thing is a myth; they'll just laugh at you before they use their terrifying "I'm offended" fangs to rip your throat out. Keep dogs outside your door to spot the Terminators and the gay people who look just like real humans.

[newnewnew]

Some guy just lost his job you know. Yes he's a member of a majority and yes majority members have an easier time in their field on average than the minorities in it. But that doesn't change the fact that he suffered real harm and he has three kids to feed. Your flippancy is chilling.

[angersock]

C'mon, man--I know you can post better than this. :(

[cjdrake]

Careful with all that talk about "blindly groping". There may be ladies present, or blind people :).