[brennenHN]

My email to Jim Franklin:

Hi Jim,

You have a mess on your hands, and I understand how hard it must be at SendGrid today.

I think you've made a defensible move, and it is hard to hold you in contempt for putting your employees and business first.

That said, I'm really disappointed in your response.

For as long as there have been tech conferences, they have been hostile to women. Sexually exclusive language is the starting point for harassment and assault that have been the status quo for the tech industry for decades. (tech isn't alone here, of course)

A woman trying to report these offenses often went completely unheard. The crimes were completely silenced by a community that protected itself with homogeny, and the results are strikingly obvious in the number of women working, participating, and attending conferences in technology.

This deeply-rooted problem is finally beginning to surface, and we're starting to talk about solutions in a productive way. PyCon was at the forefront of that as they worked incredibly hard to make women feel accepted. Their no-harassment policy and work to get more women speaking and attending represent a huge amount of progress.

It has been a very public effort by the conference, and the results were impressive. A huge number of women showed up to a space they thought would be more welcoming.

Of course, it wasn't perfect. Though we've made a lot of progress, there's still a long way to go before we'll get rid of exclusive attitudes towards women.

What's really disappointing, though, is that when a woman at this conference felt uncomfortable and made her discomfort public, she lost her job.

Her peers, our technology community, responded to her statement with incredible hostility. Threats of rape and murder were abundant yesterday, and we attacked a woman for expressing her discomfort publicly.

Some people, like yourself, said that it would be okay for her to express her discomfort privately, but that the publicity is what made it a problem. But in doing so, you're asking her to give up her voice. You're asking her to stay silent about an incredibly serious problem.

All she did was report factual discomfort publicly. She didn't lie or slander.

And now she's lost her job for it. The message is obvious: women aren't allowed to report misconduct like this. We don't want to hear about the sexual misconduct in our community. A woman's discomfort is her own problem, not ours.

That's the wrong message.

[deepinside]

The message sent is: if you cannot properly evangelise for a company, and are prone to gaffs and pulling your employer into overblown Internet dramas, you cannot work as an Evangelist

Had she been serious and professional about this, she would have sought her employer's backing before going ballistic.

[gregd]

I'm curious to know whether you actually read their response.

"To be clear, SendGrid supports the right to report inappropriate behavior, whenever and wherever it occurs.

What we do not support was how she reported the conduct."

[harel]

There's "Reporting" and there's "Reporting to All". She had many options before hitting that "Report All" button and attaching the image. More than that, she "reported to all" providing a singular point of view - hers. Those two guys could have been completely innocent or misunderstood at that point but it would have been too late as they were already semi famous, somewhat shamed and mostly fired. She had a choice - to be a victim or not to be one. She acted like a victim, and by that made her self a victim allowing herself to behave like she did. I just can't help thinking how one situation got over reacted to, then the over reacting got over reacted, and so on until you end up with this massive snowball of over reactment.

Nobody asked her to give up her voice by reporting it in private. But in cases like that when you present a singular point of view of a situation while carrying your employer's flag you have to be very careful how you do it. She was not careful and it backfired. Not to mention that this to me sounds like bad humour on the part of those guys, not sexism. No sympathy from me, I'm sorry.

[vacri]

The storm-in-a-teacup would have been completely ignored if Playhaven hadn't fired the man. Without that particular event, the total number of people who knew her name would not have increased at all - because people do stuff like this all the time.

[orcadk]

Except that's not the message.

The message is: Nobody is allowed to report misconduct in this way.

[gregd]

All she did was report factual discomfort publicly. She didn't lie or slander.

What she tweeted about was subjective discomfort, not factual. So all of the men in her tweeted photo, she didn't lie or slander?