[girvo]

The "jokes" (which are lame) weren't directed at her from what I can gather. The OP publicly lynched them, and one guy was fired for it.

What a crap situation all over :( I dont understand the offensiveness of what they said, directed at themselves, just being idiots. Christ, that could happen to me.

Is fear of reprisal better than actual understanding?

[DoubleMalt]

While it would not happen to me in all likelihood, I find the general lack of humour displayed in this case by the OP appalling.

However I am aware of the fact that many of my gender are incredibly offensive to women and that after a long week with many conferences and in all likelihood having to suffer many comments and jokes that really warrant a calling out the sensitivities are heightened.

Unfortunately calling a tasteless joke about a big dongle sexist draws attention away from the real offenders and validates the believes of die hard sexists that this is drama about nothing.

I'd rather have people concentrate on stopping things like http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Flashbelt_slide_show instead of twitter shaming someone who made a joke among his friends, that was not thought for the ears of the OP.

[beigelightning]

She references that she was twice a victim of domestic violence in this post: http://butyoureagirl.com/13871/success-against-the-odds-fill...

Obviously a horrible thing to go through, perhaps it has colored her perceptions somewhat?

I do agree that the reaction greatly outweighed the incident.

[varjag]

Actually it seems the jokes were fired solely because she was in the earshot.

EDIT: downvoting, seriously?

I just go by her account in the linked article, which I hope everyone commenting took their time to read as well. Her argument is clear and isn't anywhere as unfounded as skimming through the comments here would make you think. She of course could be making things up, which neither me, nor anything else who weren't there are able to verify.

[DoubleMalt]

Yes, because you postulate unfounded facts. Nothing in the story indicates that the jokes where fired because she was in the earshot.

[varjag]

From TFA:

>He said he would be interested in forking the repo and continuing development. That would have been fine until the guy next to him… began making sexual forking jokes

The guy inserted his forking double innuendos in a conversation two other persons were having. Do you seriously think he'd do that if one of those weren't a female?

(Also, forking jokes? Is that 1995 or what)

[CornishPasty]

> Do you seriously think he'd do that if one of those weren't a female?

Uhh, yeah... If he was crude enough to make forking jokes, he wouldn't care what his audience was, perhaps he'd even prefer it to be guys so they can all laugh along with him...

[Tyrannosaurs]

It's a fair point, though the whole thing is slightly irrelevant (the overall point you're responding to) as we shouldn't assume that men don't find this stuff offensive.

[drumdance]

> Do you seriously think he'd do that if one of those weren't a female?

Jeez, me and my guy friends do this kind of thing all the time. In my circle at least (professionals in all walks of life, from software to academia to public policy), making double entendres is part of what it means to be a guy.

However, I do sensor myself around women.

[DoubleMalt]

However that was not the guy she twit shamed as far as I can gather from her not very organized writeup.

[varjag]

I wrote that jokes were fired because she was in the earshot. You commented that I postulate unfounded facts, while they are very well founded if you'd go through as much as first half of her write-up.

[sdfsdfsdfs]

Nope, you did postulate an unfounded fact. It isn't clear why the guy made sexual jokes. The author joined in a conversation she wasn't invited in on, and then one of the guys in that conversation made some jokes she didn't like. It's actually not clear whether the tone of the conversation between the two men changed when she joined it. For all we know that guy makes sexual jokes to his buddy all the time, there really are people who are like that. The author simply doesn't say anything about what the offending man was saying prior to her joining the conversation.

So yeah, you were extrapolating. But it does make sense to assume that the guy made sexual jokes because she joined in the conversation, and directed the jokes at her. In the story she tells about the developer making the joke about shaved pubic hair, she seems very reasonable.

It's a shame, the author probably should have been clearer that the jokes were made directed at her. Everyone has their own biases, and the problem with stories like this is that when women read them they think about the worst behaviour of men they've had to put up with, and assume that's what happened and when most men read them, they think about their own typical behaviour and assume it must be a misunderstanding.

[gojomo]

That any forking joke was motivated by the fact Richards would hear is not established by your excerpt. (Richards merely says that jokes were made.) Additionally, Richards' interpretation of the fork comment is somewhat disputed by one of the conversation participants: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5398681

It's certainly possible a fork comment was intentionally creepy, a first statement made to a new, female conversation participant, and with an inappropriate tone. But it's also possible two friends were continuing an "I'd fork that repository" riff from earlier, with negligible sexual intent, and the tone was misunderstood by Richards.

It's your definitive conclusion of ill-intent, from incomplete evidence, that people may object to.

[girvo]

For the record, I didn't downvote you.

Her article is worded in such a way as that it can be construed as being directed at her, but it is never outright said, nor does the guy who got fired suggest that that was the case (of course, he does have a horse in the race; however, he was very honest and apologetic in his response).

It smells disingenuous to me.

[varjag]

The firing was definitely an overreaction. Then I feel her choice of tweeting vs. just telling him to cut it is really a form of conflict avoidance rather than some noble goal for sake of the children as she spins it.

Still I think the guy most likely acted like that just because the female was around. I mean, would a developer seriously bring lewd jokes each time forking is mentioned? Perhaps it was his take on acting manly or just general lack of social skills. It's unfortunate how it all ended.

[gojomo]

That's possible, but not clear to me from Richards' account.

[philwelch]

What you're witnessing is a taboo being formed.