[tptacek]

Look, I can't tell if that funny bump on your neck is malignant and I can't tell if that 99.1F fever is worth going to a doctor about and I can't tell you if you should eat less gluten and I can't tell from a message board comment if you have a mental illness.

I don't care what you want to call it; "depression", "desperation", "determination". All I can tell you is that if you are convinced (not "worried"; we all worry sometimes) that you're a "loser" or that this is your "last chance" to do something meaningful, that's not normal. If you were a friend of mine, I'd be hassling you to find a professional you could trust to work that stuff out.

Hey, either way: best of luck to you. Your career will be fine.