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by rickcecil 6853 days ago
My wife of 10 years is pregnant with our first child and I have finally screwed up my courage to its sticking place and am making the leap with my own startup. I am continuing to work my day job--which can suck up 50-60 hours a week while working on the startup another 16-20 hours a week. Both suck a lot of time away from her. I am definitely concerned about this--especially with a child on the way. But, I have a wonderful wife who understands why I want to start my own company and is nothing but supportive. (Plus, she understands that the path to wealth in the US is not through working for someone else so if she wants to be rich, she has to be willing to take the risk of starting a company.)

A lot of people will tell you that a spouse and children will make it more difficult to start, but that is only true if you let it be true. I'm not saying they don't complicate matters, they do. I'm saying turn your weaknesses into your strengths: family can be a great source of source of support (as other posters have mentioned).

Also, when I think about the lessons I want to teach my son, "work hard making someone else a lot of money" is not something I want him to learn, which means I need to get off my ass and practice what I preach.

Regarding how your SO feels about your startup, I think it's gonna really depend on where you are in the relationship. Is it new and you want to spend a lot of time together? Or, is it a more mature relationship where you don't have to be near each other every waking second.

Also, on the SO front, if the your SO wants you to give up your dreams, there are deeper problems with the relationship that you should consider. Just because your married or in a relationship doesn't mean your desires have been sublimated for the sake of the relationship.

Bottom line: I see a lot of people telling you why you shouldn't start, and they are right--unless it's just in you to start, and then nothing can stop you.

2 comments

BEWARE of month number 1 with the baby. It is impossible to comprehend until you have a baby, and month 1 (especially week 1) will require more time than you can imagine. I was in the midst of multiple all-nighters on an architecture project around the time of birth (though I took the first week off) and I will never hear the end of my inability to help as much as I should have when the wife was as thoroughly exhausted as me. Life changes totally once you have a child. Once you understand what it means to have a different life as a family (which took me about a year), it is really a great thing. The transition from romance to family, though, is not easy, but that is a completely different topic.
Thanks for the advice!

I'm taking the first two weeks off from work, and my mother-in-law will be here, so I'm hoping that I can really spend more time with my wife and new baby without sacrificing on the startup. Plus, the project's schedule should be such that my role during that time will be diminished somewhat and my partners will be working a bit more.

I don't want to say that I'm completely prepared for LAB (life after baby), but I'm as prepared as I can get.

Are you absolutely required to work that many hours a week? That's going to burn you out really fast. Can you work less, even with a pay cut?
Yeah, I'm already starting to feel it and am working on ways to cut back at work -- especially with baby coming.