[pawnhearts]

Not yet, ZenoArrow.

I'm "fear of fear", and I can't be strong enough to face up regular life situations. And I have to find a solution, I have to find the strenght to do something before summer comes. Hot wheter increases depression.

At the moment I'm trying to work less and study/read/distract more. I spend great time on the road by car on my own or with my girlfriend, going nowhere and listening to some music I used to listen when everything "was fine".

Some times I can't even remember "how I was" before the whole depression thing. I look at my old pictures and I think to myself: "I was this guy. Really? I used to go to concerts, meet a lot of people, everybody used to love me. Who am I now? And why?"

[ZenoArrow]

I'm sorry to hear you have had tough times recently pawnhearts.

I understand that the road to recovery might feel hard to find, but you'll maximise your chances of finding it if you can get help from others. Please contact a counsellor. Reaching out for help is a humbling but often vital part of emotional recovery. If you can please do it today or tomorrow.

One piece of advice I can give you now is that looking back at who you were and trying to recreate that isn't likely to be helpful to you. Instead, consider what you can do now to help improve things in the future. If you're not sure where to start (apart from contacting a counsellor as discussed), can always start with improving your diet, finding time to exercise and getting into good habits with your sleep pattern. It's surprising how much our mood is influenced by these things, and they are simple tasks to focus on.

Best of luck with your recovery. :-)

[Evbn]

Reach out to someone. If you feel too shy or uncool, find someone even less cool, and look for their special nature under the surface. Volunteer with a group at a soup kitchen, or a litter patrol, or animal rescue. Or just comment on a bug in an open source software package you use. Get busy doing something good for someone who would like to say thanks.