I'll just repeat my previous comment: For $60,000 per month they can't create a mode where all your dynos are behind a single HAProxy with "intelligent" least-connections load balancing?
In other terms: "Damn, the hallways in this building are getting too crowded, lets add some more hallways and shit and lets add new rooms... Later: damn, this is getting complicated. Peopke are piling up in doorways, theyre losing patience and leaving (or being forced to leave to ease the congestion)... Wish there was something we could do!"
Wmf: "Build another building, geeez!"