| Some years ago, I had to do several personal development courses. Most of them were absolutely useless (at least to me), but one I found tremendously useful in various job and life settings. It was a course about assertiveness (and, in particular, assertive communication). Assertive communication is about expressing a contrary position in such a way that you are totally firm, but not aggressive. Your interlocutor must understand that your stance is strong, but that you are a person who listens and is not just trying to impose mindless authority on them. A basic template for assertive communication is something like: 1. "I understand that [description of your interlocutor's position and why it's understandable that he holds it]", 2. "BUT [description of your position and firm arguments to support it]", 3. "THEREFORE, [conclusion, which will typically match your position but make some concessions to theirs if you can]". It sounds like something pretty trivial, but believe me, it makes a load of difference. People will be way more likely to accept your arguments if you explicitly show them that you have carefully listened to theirs and respect them. I have had people coming into my office to complain about something, and going out almost thanking me for that very thing! Of course, this is a personal informal explanation and you'll be able to find much better explanations of this principle on Google. |