[vidarh]

I think you are conflating two things: What outcomes you are attached to (what triggers your emotions etc.) vs. what you work towards.

It is perfectly possible to work hard towards a goal, including motivating others to do the same, but not be personally attached to the success or failure of the outcome.

I lift weights. I go into the gym every day and try to do better than last time. I struggle with increasing my bench press at the moment. But I still go in and try my hardest and vary my progressions to try to overcome my sticking point.

But I don't leave after a bench session all stressed out over not hitting the next weight up: I'm not attached to the outcome.