[groby_b]

Replying here since your reply to mine is too deeply nested:

Yes, "ask a professional" can be misread as "I don't care about that person". What it means when I say that is "I am not qualified to help you. You're in deep shit, and you need help. You really should find somebody who is qualified".

If I happen to know the person, and they're in my area, it comes together with a number or two where they could find somebody competent. And with a clear statement that I expect them to call, plus follow-ups from me if they called. I'm a persistent nag if I have to :)

I'm also pretty clear about the fact that if they keep coming to me with their problem, I expect them to do something about it.

On the Internets, it's hard to do more than say "go see a professional". The OP laid their soul bare, but I don't know them enough to give them any better advice.

[thaumaturgy]

You sound like a good person -- at least you put some effort in. The only other comment I'd have here is that sometimes it's better to simply listen than to expect someone to change. Believe me, I get that it's emotionally draining to hear someone vent and rehash the same personal issues over and over and over again; but, sometimes, they just want someone to talk to, not someone to tell them what they need to do. It's up to your judgement whether or not you (or anyone else) has time or room in your life for that, and whether or not it'll do any good if you do.