[mrkurt]

I heartily recommend becoming a foster parent through your state children/family services agency. It's an oft overlooked route to adoption and, despite a million frustrations of its own, has worked much better for us than private adoption seems to/would have.

[ajtaylor]

My wife and I took this route in Massachusetts. We were VERY lucky from the start and quickly had a baby placed in our home on the "adoption" track rather than "reunification". It was a long road due to legal issues with the birth mother, but the end result was an adoption with $0 in legal fees paid by us. In fact, during this time the state considered us foster parents and we got a small subsidy every month.

If you have more time than money, the foster care route is definitely a good option. Plus, there are a LOT of kids in foster care waiting for a permanent home.

[ajju]

I have no experience, so please excuse this if it's insensitive, but isn't the difference between adopting and being a foster parent the fact that as a foster parent you are only a temporary guardian for the child? i.e. they usually have parents they would go back to eventually?

[mrkurt]

Not insensitive at all. Fostering is just the first step, and can be followed by a formal adoption. Our three adoptions were foster for ~2 years as the case made its way through the courts (we got all the kids at <1mo old).

Depending on the situation, kids can go back with their biological parents. The social worker should be pretty up front about the prospects of that, though. Of the 5 kids we've fostered, 2 went back to their parents and we were well aware of that before we took them (they were 3 and 6 years old). Usually when infants are removed from a home, there's not much chance of them returning.

[ajju]

Thank you for sharing. I have thought about adoption and it helps to learn more.

Both adopting and fostering are a huge responsibility, and it speaks volumes about you guys that you have done it multiple times.

[kajecounterhack]

I am not certain but I think being a foster parent you can decide to permanently adopt the child after a period of time, thus he calls it an "overlooked route to adoption."

[Jplenbrook]

It's called Fost-adopt in our state. When a child is taken from a home they have to put them somewhere. If you let them know you want to adopt then they will give you children with a very high chance of never being able to return to the parents. Instead of paying for adoption you get paid. Up to about $1,500/mo pre-adoption.