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Agreed whole heartedly. Dad remarried when I was 13, then spent the next 12 years fighting her in court. Now, that was one marriage that absolutely was not savable. In my case, there was some long simmering resentment due to a certain someone (not i) being a cheating ho and lying about it. Resolving this would have required said certain party to come clean, and rebuild the relationship. Instead, my insecurities were used against me (I was controlling asshole according to her), and she actively worked to decimate my self esteem. I literally spent years not understanding that I was pissed at her, and why I was so. Then she withdrew from the relationship, supposedly because I was pissed at her, but I suspect really due to abuse suffered as a child. I became the representation of that, she withdrew completely from me, and then I got lonely, hurt, confused, and angrier. I tried talking to her about being lonely, and was blown off. Eventually, I realized that I was f'in pissed at her, and when I tried to discuss all that came out was bile and hatred. Thats when I knew things were unfixable. Counseling was suggested by her at this point, but I had zero desire to be told all things I did wrong by two people instead of just one. I was done. Eventually, she did come clean, and somehow expected things to be fixed. All in all I'm soooooo glad we decided to end the relationship, I had zero idea how stressed I was constantly by the relationship. |