[brazzy]

It's a relatively well-known fact that a very dangerous phase of depression is when you start to get better, because when you feel worst, you typically lack the energy to do anything, including suicide. When you start to pull out of it (such as when you begin taking effective medication) there can be a time when you aren't feeling paralyzed anymore, but still suicidal.

[thebrokencube]

I actually wasn't aware of that, but it makes a lot of sense and aligns with my experiences with depression/suicide a lot. The times I've felt suicidal were all when I was picking myself up and put myself out there and it crashed and burned horribly (in my mind at least; in reality it was just a small setback). Now that you mention it, my worst was actually when I just didn't care about anything, and when I had suicidal tendencies I was trying to get better and had just hit some small speed bumps that I felt were insurmountable in the heat of the moment.