| > "'d definitely stick to Meetup and similar sites where you can join a singles group" Been there. Wasn't fun. The problem with ungated singles groups is that it turns very heavily into a gigantic sausagefest, even in cities with relatively decent dating scenes. It reminds me of the Microsoft parties I've gone to back when I lived in Seattle. You can spot all seven women at the party by the clusters of men surrounding them. For singles groups to work a gender ratio must be enforced, but that also gives group organizers a lot of leeway to be generally not-awesome people. It also brings out some of the uglier sides of humanity. I was once part of an "Asian Americans" Meetup group, which like most Meetup groups is a pretty flimsy facade for a singles group. There was a major row where a white user wanted to join - IIRC the guy was raised in Asia and had a strong interest in Asian culture. The male membership of the group revolted, citing pretty much every lame reason except the real one. A vote was taken, where the female membership voted in a landslide to allow the guy in, and the male membership the opposite. The ban stood, some (thankfully some) people left the group in protest, including myself. This was an exceptionally blatant experience, but I wouldn't put this past most Meetup groups, ethnicity or otherwise. Meetup groups with a singles slant (i.e., most of them), seems to bring out the most territorial, the least charitable, and the least human qualities in people. |