[snogglethorpe]

I went to AA meetings for a while with someone whose mother was an alcoholic (I don't really remember what this was supposed to accomplish, but...) and the atmosphere was kinda weird... the people there, at least, really did invoke god/jesus/etc a lot, and there was a funny sense they were looking for something to replace the alcohol, and jesus (etc) was a popular candidate... and there was a palpable sense of peer pressure to say similar things.

I suppose all this stuff varies from group to group, and no doubt the "official" stance is more neutral and well-considered. Still, after that experience, I'd feel a bit leery about recommending AA to someone who was vulnerable.

[euroclydon]

My father was in AA for nearly forty years and I had the opportunity to attend several meetings with him. I too thought the meetings and people were, at times, weird, and for similar reasons as you. Some people always referred to the H.P. as Jesus, and others as simply God or something less specific. But the one thing to keep in mind is that you and I were merely observers. We didn't feel in danger of being totally destroyed by alcohol. If we viewed AA as a program that could save our lives, our experience and opinions would be different.

[b1daly]

The twelve steps are only suggestions in AA. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking (and that you act reasonably civil towards others in the group) You don't have to believe anything, pay money, look a certain way, there is no authority beyond the immediate consensus of the group. You actually don't even have to stop drinking. The practitioners are fond of helpful aphorisms, repeated almost as mantras. One of my favorites: take what you need and leave the rest.

[illuminate]

"The twelve steps are only suggestions in AA"

As far as my experience goes in going to meetings with friends and watching their progress (or not), they are made to know that completing the steps is essential to their recovery/stability, even if "suggestions". It is a cultural process. Perhaps ones that can be completed at their leisure and ability, but it's still a ritual considered more require d than suggested.

[b1daly]

What you say is valid. Humans do group think, and the vast majority of people in AS view the "steps" as required. Not by any authority, but by their need for help. If you are not into that, it's harder to feel part of the club. But in the stated ideology of AA they are only suggestion. This is different from many other religious groups, who claim a unique and exclusive truth.

In practice, there is shockingly little authority exercised in AA there is literally no person or group who can kick someone out or impose sanctions on anyone.

I'm not saying it's not a weird group, it is, but it was founded by and populated by people who are in dire straights. It's not for everyone. I think it's an unfortunate development that attendance to AA is often compulsory by the legal system, social service system, and the treatment industry. But this is out of the control of AA, all are welcome who have a desire to stop drinking.