[solusglobus]

From evolutionary point of view, the employee has dominated him by taking over his wife from him. Therefore he will naturally feel inferior. The employee's dominance is reflected in his subtle arrogance with no sign of remorse. He should man up and fire him or he is just a pushover, Mr. Nice Guy (http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339).

[zalew]

not sure why someone downvoted you.

[drivebyacct2]

Because we're more mature than this "puff out your chest, be a man and get the girl" crap.

And of course your other comment here is "beat the crap out of him". Wow.

[solusglobus]

This is more than just "puff out your chest, be a man and get the girl". This whole event is rooted in evolutionary psychology. The power dynamics has unconsciously shifted towards the employee. This is like a power frame which is adopted in Pitch Anything (http://www.amazon.com/Pitch-Anything-Innovative-Presenting-P...). To overcome a power frame, you need to break it. If not, he will always submit to the employee's power frame unconsciously. This is not good for his productivity, his leadership, his being as a man and ultimately his company. One way to break the employee's power frame is to fire him.

[hnriot]

You're neglecting the wife in this armchair psychology. There's a much mor complex power dynamic going on entirely.

[solusglobus]

Regardless of what the wife did, attraction is unconscious. The employee in this case is clearly the better man from evolutionary point of view instead of ethical point of view. At deeper level, he invested a lot in the employee, maybe...maybe too much (typical Mr. Nice Guy) that the employee is like the master and he the servant. Women are unconsciously attracted to men of power since the dawn of time. Also, it takes two to tango. The employee has a choice. This event can be prevented in many ways.

[drivebyacct2]

Well he's obviously "not a real man" because he didn't have his woman in line. (On the off chance it's not obvious, /s). I still have the heebee-geebies feel from this thread's misplaced sense of "masculinity"; so glad I opted out of that forced culture as a young child.

[theorique]

So if you learned that not just one but two people you had trusted for years had betrayed you in a really significant way (such as, e.g., a wife having an affair with a trusted employee), you'd just be mature about that, whatever that means?

A person saying this is either extraordinarily in control of his emotional responses (Dalai Lama level) or extraordinarily unaware of how highly emotional events can hit extremely hard.

[drivebyacct2]

Yeah, amazingly my reaction to my emotions is not to "beat the shit" out of someone. Certainly not days/weeks/months after the fact in a premeditated way or circle jerking about it in a forum. This is like those insidious threads on reddit where everyone cheers for the bad guy to prison so he can get raped and everything will be better.

[zalew]

the comment you are raging about is disbelief someone can wait months without any serious reaction while the guy who already stabbed him in the back laughs at his face by not leaving voluntarily, and made his life miserable to the point he asks anonymously on the internet if he should maybe fire him. it's not a call for conspiracy into hiring thugs to beat him in the alley.

now it's too late, shit already hit the fan, personal problems got to the office, he got to get rid of him to regain authority, there is nothing 'mature' about doing nothing when he's clearly in trouble.

[drivebyacct2]

I never implied that the boss should do nothing. I'd echo most people here indicating that he should be fired for a lack of trust. Yes, I'm going to continue to contend that beating the shit out of someone isn't the mature reaction regardless of the time since incident.

Also, I find it exceedingly amusing that you portray me as "raging" as you support "beating the crap out of" someone.

[theorique]

I'm not saying "go do it", whether in a spontaneous or premeditated way.

I'm saying that it's a rather natural reaction to experience such anger and rage, and that to deny the reality of such feelings is counterproductive. Acting on the feelings in a violent way is discouraged.