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by waxman 4915 days ago
Try Grouper (https://www.joingrouper.com). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder].

The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird).

Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (and for women, potentially dangerous) to arrange a meeting. Meanwhile, labeling it as dating increases the pressure and the awkwardness for everyone.

Grouper Social Club sets up drinks between 2 groups of friends: 3 guys and 3 girls (or 3 guys, etc.).

There are no profiles or messages on our site. We match the groups together ourselves using Facebook info (which overcomes a lot of biases), then take care of all the coordination. Members pre-pay for their drink and the experience (the only fee), confirm a time, then we give them the place to meet.

We don't like labels, and don't think of Groupers as dates. To some they're similar, but the expectations are importantly different. Worst case: you're out with your friends and experience a funny story together, the average case is a super fun night out where there are some sparks between at least a pair of you, and the best case is, well, sky's the limit. Also, there's safety (and less awkwardness and more variety) in numbers.

We're live in 13 major cities in the US and Canada and growing quickly. 93% of members who go on a Grouper say they want to go on another one, and about half already have.

Our mission isn't to fix online dating, it's to end loneliness. Specifically, we want to help people get out from behind the blue glow of their computer screens and actually connect with people.

Social networks and online dating sites can be more isolating than social. But they don't have to be.

Shoot me an email at Michael [at] joingrouper.com if you have any questions.

7 comments

Do you guys do mixed groups (2 guys, 1 girl -- etc)? In the future? Your messaging tries really hard not to label Grouper as a dating service but (3 girls) and (3 guys) is pretty transparent about what the intentions are for the two groups.

Lot's of growth avenues, looking forward to seeing this grow.

If they adopt the Japanese approach then it works just fine.

Basically they aim for equal numbers of guys and girls but the protocol is that you spend equal amounts of time with each opposite.

So it doesn't just become an awkward pair off situation.

I've seen this service before and really like the idea. My hangup is the Facebook requirement. I understand why you use that network, and that it would be difficult to use another to try to gauge which groups would have a good time though. But, as someone who doesn't use and has no interest in Facebook, I'm hopeful that you have other plans for this service in the long-term.
> (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird).

I agree that this is one of the worst aspects. Sounds like you've solved the ebay-for-people and only-as-attractive-as-your-profile issues. Nice work!

How much success are you having with facebook info? Is that enough data to define compatibility?

And if I could actually try Grouper, I would. But given I signed up over 4 months ago and haven't heard a peep (though the site still insists "YOUR APPLICATION IS ON ITS WAY. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH."), I'm currently labeling anything and everything Grouper as vapor.

I also consider the Facebook requirement obnoxious - up until I decided to give Grouper a spin, my Facebook profile was minimal, not even a profile picture. But I was curious enough that I bit the bullet and gave Facebook way, way more information about myself than I'd normally be willing.

Which, of course, makes the vapor nature of the service that much more upsetting.

My experience could very well be an aberration - that said, I figure I'd throw out a warning to others interested in trying to service but are hesitant to give Facebook more personal information.

Sorry about that. Please email me at michael [at] joingrouper.com.

We use several techniques to filter out sketchy accounts, and your sparse Facebook information may have triggered our suspicions.

We need to use Facebook for, at the very least, making sure you don't know the other group.

Also, in terms of the allegations of vaporware, just search Instagram for the hashtag #groupergram. There are over 1,000 photos from recent Groupers. We've also collected our favorites on our landing page http://joingrouper.com and here: http://joingrouper.com/groupergrams

Bleah, I don't like drinking :(
Count me as another one who says meh to Facebook and doesn't care for drinking but otherwise likes the idea.
is this only for straight people for now?