[3pt14159]

Maybe he did understand, yet disagreed with your characterization of a large set of people's beliefs. Literally comparing what some view as the cornerstone of their religion with rape does not belong on this board.

What does belong is the heart wrenching story of prioritization of life following the death of a family member, same with complications of a daughter. Many of us are planning on having children soon, so the perspective is very interesting.

[tptacek]

As a Catholic I also object to Paul's failure to venerate the Virgin Mary.

You know what I think would make this posting better? If 'pg added a feature I just came up with to HN that allows us to collaboratively edit Paul Buchheit's stories as if they were Wikipedia articles or Stack Overflow answers. I bet, as a group, we'd sure do a great job of capturing what Paul thinks about what's important in life, and also we could better inform people about why they shouldn't use vi because modal editors are relics best left to the 1970s.

[paul]

I care about the world that my daughter will grow up in, and I think it's important for people to understand that love isn't something that can ever be given or taken by force. It must be a gift.

[diego]

You phrased that in an ambiguous way. I believe you mean that the gift is being able to feel love, not the love itself. Loving someone may cause you to give "gifts" to that person, but the love itself is not a gift to them. You are the one enjoying that gift from life.

[hosh]

Love is.

It's not given or taken. It's not a thing. It's not a pie -- in which, once you've eaten it, no one else can.

It sometimes feel like it is a thing, a limited resource that we must hoard. Something made up of hormones and bioenergy. Something precious and delicate that we must protect. But that's fear, not love.

We're born in love. We receive it from our mother and father. But as we grow older, we forget that Love Is. So we attribute it to our parents. Our parents have bad days too. And we learned to seek out attention by doing things. We've substituted need for approval for love.

And then puberty happens.

What is it that the ancients say? A thirsty man stands in the middle of a river, screaming his heart out because he doesn't know what he needs it right there in him.

The gift is in remembering it's always been there. It's not something someone gives you because you've been a good boy. It's not that special: everyone, regardless of sex, race, or faith or lack of faith -- regardless of the acts you've committed, the shame, guilt, fear that tortue you -- everyone is loved. That is the "unconditional" part of "unconditional love."

[jspthrowaway2]

Yes. Tell Paul what's appropriate in his own, intensely personal, unabashedly honest message from the heart. I'm going through pain in my life and I'm glad he shared it. His honestly about religion was heartwarming, and I knew there'd be people in the Hacker News comments looking to argue about it straight away.

[tptacek]

Is he even talking about religion? I thought he was just trying to evoke the purposeful animating idea that people of religion think about when they think about God.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?", asks the nerd. "No, for thou art not a day in a particular season and the comparison would make no sense. Also, stop using vi."

[jspthrowaway2]

I meant in the abstract, just as he did. I was characterizing the discussion, not necessarily his topic.

Sometimes I disagree with you, but man, Thomas, you are on point in this thread today. Thank you.

[3pt14159]

Hacker News is not about religion. It shouldn't be.

Sometimes the occasional jab at fundies is overlooked, sometimes the occasional mention of solace in a higher power is tolerated; but the nature of Paul's characterization was beyond the cultural norms of this board.

The strength and appropriateness of someone's statement in areas that are beyond his or her's direct involvement in a particular project or field should come directly from the innate strength of the arguments themselves and from the innate appropriateness of the arguments themselves.

Paul is a great man. He's directly impacted my everyday work flow and many of my ideas - but the closeness of this community is damaged by divisive and potentially offensive claims. If anything he should be setting the standard for what is expected here; and I say this with full knowledge of of how many of his potentially offensive arguments rang truth to my ears.

If someone is in pain and they wish to talk to someone close to them, even with potentially offensive ideas, that is one thing. Writing something on the internet and submitting it to an online forum, however, is an implicit acceptance of the review of others at that board.

I truly believe he is well meaning, civil, caring, etc. But this place will devolve quickly when the subject matter becomes highly subjective and divisive.