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reddit.com/r/suicidewatch is a safe place to post at your most vulnerable, too. The volunteer posters are very supportive. OP, I feel a board dominated by entrepreneurs and type-a hard-charging success hounds isn't the ideal place to get advice about feeling bad from clinical depression. Not that these aren't completely kind people, but there is depression and there is Depression. When you've been abused as a child, you are changed forever in ways that are not even on the same continuum of emotion that, say, not exercising, or going nearly-broke like [insert famous billionaire here]. I probably can't express this effectively through text and I'm not available to chat via Skype at the moment, but: It's okay for you to feel Depressed. As far as emotions can be described as having reasons, you have them. Abuse changes a person forever. Doesn't break them, or make them bad, but it often leads to terrible emotions a lucky majority can't even fathom. You're feeling terrible, don't feel guilty about being injured on top of all that. Actually, injury might be a good metaphor, in that we have an animal instinct to hide away vulnerability and pain. I feel the same way about my "injuries," I don't want to share them because of a stigma of guilt that comes with Depression. One thing I have seen posted (from a quick scan through) is the truth that you won't always feel this way. Things do get better. And then, all too commonly, they get worse again. But that too shall pass. |