[ceautery]

I occasionally suffer from depression, usually in the winter with low light levels, and usually not debilitating. Some people are easier to talk to about this than others, and it's difficult for me to be honest about how I feel with people I work with, or casual acquaintances... and I think that's more of a problem than being "down" for a day or two.

It's sad that there is a need to create a fake identity just to openly talk about a condition you have no control over. In this century, it should be as easy to talk about depression as talking about how you broke your arm, but it's not. And no one wants to be stigmatized, or be afraid of secret HR information passed around about you being crazy and unhireable.

Fortunately, you are a hacker, and think differently than the average guy. Maybe you could benefit from one of the things that helps me: split your mind in two... metaphorically. "This situation doesn't call for the amount of rage I feel," is something I say to myself a lot when I should feel disapproval over something, but instead am completely incensed. If I can see intellectually that what I'm feeling is out of scale, then I have something to hold onto while my emotions run their course.

Another thing that helps pragmatically, rather than emotionally, is shutting my damned mouth when I see that I'm feeling "off". The things I want to say are hurtful, and will close doors, burn bridges, and make enemies of just about everyone I know, including my wife and children. So I think it, but I don't say it. And I try to do something as a ballast on top of being quiet, like holding my wife's hand, or if I'm not at home, just getting up and walking around. "Um, yeah, I need to go clear my head, and see if that helps with problem X when I get back."

Anyway, good luck. If the meds don't help, tell your doctor. Or find a new one. Don't pussyfoot around with doctors when your brain is at stake. "I need something that works, either you can find it for me, or I can find someone else to try. Let's go, chop chop!!"

Take care, man, and know that there are other people suffering similarly, struggling to make it. We are all your brothers, and want nothing more than for you to beat this (or manage it, at least) and have a successful life.

[electronvolt]

I'd second the splitting of self into an analytic side and a emotional side being helpful as a short term coping mechanism, but I would caution against taking it too far. It is great as a short term buffer against letting your state get the better off you, but at the end of the day you're still depressed and viewing everything in some way through that lens of depression. Even if you're able to recognize the cognitive biases that introduces, your self esteem is still in the gutter and you still feel that cold depressed feeling. As far as other not-meds things that help, exercise, a regular schedule, good diet, and avoiding drugs (especially alcohol/narcotics--they can both make the depression worse and you're at a greatly increased risk for addiction) are relatively easy (not that anything is actually easy when you're depressed) things that help.

I'd second the 'if the meds aren't working, try new ones' advice. If all they've put you on is a cocktail of SSRIs, there are other options (MAOIs are effective, but a pain to deal with in terms of other medications, and are as a result less often proscribed) Also, if your depression has been periodically occurring for a long time and doesn't respond well to traditional medications, it might be worth looking at the symptoms of bipolar disorder to see if they fit. I know several people who were treated for unipolar depression for years before they were diagnosed with bipolar depression: and the medications and treatments are very different. Bipolar depression also is rather famous for not responding well to talk therapy. On the similar note of things that wouldn't respond to medication but are treatable in other ways: if you haven't been checked for hyper and hypo thyroidism, those can also cause depression-like symptoms that don't respond to traditional medication, and sleep disorders like apnea can make minor depression much worse.

[druiid]

Very good suggestions here as well! Thanks for posting. I have a least a family member whom is bipolar and it is an extremely tricky ailment.

[druiid]

Good advice here I would say! The most important part for the poster is the advice about perhaps looking for another doctor, or even further and perhaps might be helpful as well in their situation, to discuss his treatment with the doctor and see about getting another party involved so as to either reinforce what his current doctor was providing, or change it entirely.

Further I would say, if he isn't currently receiving both therapy AND psychiatric help, he should be going to both due to the likely reasons behind his depression.