and their findings lean towards good relationships with family and friends are highly correlation with happiness, health, and many aspects of financial success. The released a book summarizing many results a few years ago:
""The Grant Study is an 87-year continuing longitudinal study from the Study of Adult Development at Harvard Medical School, started in 1938.[2] It has followed 268 Harvard-educated men, the majority of whom were members of the undergraduate classes of 1942, 1943 and 1944.""
So they took the cream of the crop in the US and tracked it for 80 years. Most of these people will never starve or have to choose a tier 3 education for their children. It's useful as a study, but mostly to demonstrate what matters for the affluent / well-off for their happiness.
> So they took the cream of the crop in the US and tracked it for 80 years. Most of these people will never starve or have to choose a tier 3 education for their children. It's useful as a study, but mostly to demonstrate what matters for the affluent / well-off for their happiness.
1. Their (alleged) affluence was no guarantee of success or happiness.
> and their findings lean towards good relationships with family and friends are highly correlation with happiness, health, and many aspects of financial success
The daily reminder about the pains of autism and depression :/
I read a great quote by someone, maybe Nietzsche, suggesting that when you encounter that which you struggle with you tell yourself the equivalent of "hell yeah, this is my struggle."
This is prime time. This is what I'm currently on earth to solve. I'm going to enjoy the process of trying to defeat it. Amor fati.
Of course, you don't have to think that way. But you're going to have one problem or another, either way, and that mindset shift just makes everything feel less hopeless and more in control, even if the problem persists for now.
An effective form of 'treatment' for depression/anxiety is to recognize that negative feels often don't come first, but rather we are doing actions that cause them, so you should do the positive things and this will reduce one's negative emotions:
I've read Burns and I understand what you're trying to say, but that's one of those things that's true but oversimplified to the point of being off-putting. And in and of itself it's not enough: you have to know the full rationale behind CBT.
And maybe more importantly, not everyone benefits from CBT! Sometimes people are unhappy because there's deep emotional work they need to do first.
I do this, or in other words, I had to do this to go on. I think everyone comes up with some philosophy to keep on going. Even a street bum might have come up with philosophy on par with some of the greats that keeps them going...
In fact, for this particular idea, I am so over the edge that I sometimes feel pity for those conventionally lucky people who seemingly have it all and don't have a struggle on their on. I mean, what is the point of their life? But I find consolation in the possibility that they might have hidden struggles...
Only a precious few are so lucky that they don't have secret miseries. So you didn't get lucky -- I didn't either. Gotta take your licks and move on.
Besides, there is a way to transcend that unhappiness. I've seen people meditate their way out of it, but it takes years of study and discipline. The only reason why every psychiatrist doesn't tell you to start doing it is you can't just tell someone to work hard at something, they have to want to do it themselves.
If you can, consider to volunteer at a shelter or any volunteer activity that you find accessible to you.
I say this specifically because giving to others is undervalued for its internal benefits, and animals tend to be more accessible to direct love towards than humans with their complexities. But overall just giving is a way of transferring some of yourself into a more together context, and volunteering tends to be socially easier than like hanging at a bar or something...idk, just another autistic person who has/does struggle with depression in many contexts.
Volunteer at a cat shelter for e.g was only a tiny part of my burn out recovery process but it was still a really important catalyst and component. Maybe you can have some similar experiences too! Or maybe your own experiences are very different and it's not valuable for you, I'm sorry.
If you want I can ramble more about structural reasons for why this is a very good idea for autism+depression, but the point is really 'one extremely small and accessible suggestion' and so I don't want to overcomplicate it more.
Anyway if animals can't work for you, any other volunteering and/or metta/ loving-kindness meditation would be my second recommendations.
But it's really important for the volunteering bits that you are not maximizing efficiency. It is certainly 10X more impact if I was to work$ and donate that to the cat shelter. But in terms of the thematic healing goal, it is more important I spend time scooping poop for the cat gods at the shelter almost precisely because it's not a utility-value driven experience. Giving unto others, etc.
So they took the cream of the crop in the US and tracked it for 80 years. Most of these people will never starve or have to choose a tier 3 education for their children. It's useful as a study, but mostly to demonstrate what matters for the affluent / well-off for their happiness.